The goal of this article is to make everyone wear a carabiner so that I’m not identifiable by my jangling keys anymore.

Have you ever wanted to sound like a dog with a little jangly collar walking around campus? Want your enemies to know you’re approaching from 15 feet away? Cast your eyes upon Bwog’s finest carabiner collection, campus’ latest, sexiest fashion accessory.

The owner of this carabiner has not one, but TWO heart carabiners. Plus an octopus and a penguin (maybe). 14/10 love the layering, the aesthetic, the character.

This one will make your heart melt. As the owner of said carabiner describes, “My heart-shaped carabiner and (excluding the Eiffel Tower) all connect to their twins on my girlfriend’s carabiner.” Like, we get it, love is alive and well and harbored on keychains. Whatever! Whatever! out of 10 I love love.

Where else to get photos for a carabiner article than from the lovely attendees of Woods Wednesday. Allegedly the owner of this carabiner is hosting a bolo tie making event in Bushwick on Saturday. Message Bwog to learn more about how YOU can have your OWN BOLO TIE today! Bushwick out of 10.

Post Actor Share debrief. Simple, elegant, radiant blue carabiner. 10/10 someone give this person their extra keys from ResLife.

We bought a house??? I love my roommate so much we’re, get this, connected at the hip. Ha. This author has too many keys on their keychain. It looks like I own a property or something. So why not combine your keychain with your roommate’s for even more KEYS. 90 million out of 10 I love my roommate.

Another elegant blue carabiner! Is that what the kids are all wearing these days? 12/10 for the ID on carabiner inclusion. Need to do that.

Very Chappell Roan. Wish we could see a cowboy hat on this carabiner. Would really complete the look. 12/10 peace and love on the planet Earth.

It’s giving studious, it’s giving support your public library, it’s giving brat summer carabiner. Brat out of 10 everyone get a green carabiner right now.

Now THIS. THIS is a carabiner. There are individual rings??? For each of the keys?? An AirTag? ID attached?? Even the keys look aesthetic. 12 million out of 10 for the angle of the photo.

Images via Bwog Staff