Picasso, who?

I know you already know who I am, but just in case you’ve been under a wifi-insulating rock since yesterday at 1:47 am, let me catch you up to speed. I posted this meme to buy/sell last night and from there, my entire life changed.

I got to my 8:40 a minute before class started but my new fans saved a seat in the front row, just for me. Some kid walked up a few moments after and looked upset, but he was probably just jealous and I know better than pay attention to the haters. When my professor asked us to work in groups, my groupmates did all the work without even asking me to help, probably because they know that statistics stifles my creative process. People are so considerate when you actually matter.

At Ferris for lunch, there was a long line for everyone else, but no one batted an eyelash when I strode to the front of the line and walked right in. The least they could do to repay me for my contributions to the arts is throw me some free eggs once in a while. I even heard some people muttering about me as I walked through the lines. Good things, I’m sure.

Every time I checked my phone I just saw more and more likes and reactions. It was amazing that so many people could appreciate my art: the subtle nuance of the caption, the ingenuity of the subject matter; I could go on and on, but you’ll probably talk about it in ArtHum next year, so why bother? Let me know if your professor wants me to come in and give a guest lecture, I always love to help the less inspired.

I keep checking my inbox to see if the curators from the Whitney have responded to my submission yet. Well, there wasn’t a submissions page on the website, but I’m sure they’ll see the emails I wrote and immediately invite me downtown. If not, well, then they don’t recognize true genius.

Anyway, I have a lot of lithographs to sign and homework to delegate out to my 800+ adoring fans, so I think I’m going to end this diary entry here. I don’t have long before the algorithm catapults somebody else into stardom anyway. Maybe this up-and-coming Rafael kid will have a chance to strike it rich.