Stacey Yu drags all Achilles stans to filth and reminisces about days when the Joeopoly didn’t have us in its clutches.

Name, School, Major, Hometown:
Stacey, Columbia College, English, Irvine, California

Claim to fame:
Stuffing so much fruit from Ferris into my backpack that my zipper broke.

Where are you going?
Please read the room.

What are 3 things you learned at Columbia and would like to share with the Class of 2024?

1. Don’t bother going to career fairs until ~junior year.
2. Apparently The Iliad is the favorite work studied in the Core, demonstrating that this campus has no taste!!
3. Your professors want to get to know you—go to their office hours, they love the attention.

“Back in my day…”
Joe Coffee had yet to achieve its hegemonic campus trifecta (RIP Up Coffee).

Favorite Columbia controversy?
When it was so hot that people were being hospitalized and Columbia advised us to make friends with people in air-conditioned dorms, or eat watermelon. <3 I love watermelon!

What was your favorite class at Columbia?
The ones held in classrooms. Although Canterbury Tales with Eleanor Johnson is still equally good over Zoom… so she deserves many, many awards.

Would you rather give up oral sex or cheese?
You tell me.

Whom would you like to thank?
Every acquaintance who’s ever smiled at me while walking across campus, my perfect friends, and whoever makes the cookies in John Jay.

One thing to do before graduating:
Find a means of validation detached from school so you don’t end up in an existential crisis like the one I am going through at this very moment.

Any regrets?
yes

photo via Stacey Yu