Barnard student laments the prevalence of tofu in Barnard Dining.

It all started when the Diana Center Cafe rotated its ever-changing center lunch station. Pizza on the left, burrito bowls on the right, and whatever shows up in the middle. That center meal changed from popcorn chicken to shredded meats, replacing the vegan chicken nuggets with tofu. This became the critical moment in my life when I began to notice how much Barnard relies on bad tofu to feed anyone who can’t eat meat. Sorry to anyone who likes the tofu at Barnard, and major condolences to anyone who has to eat the tofu because there’s nothing else to eat.

Having some pretty severe food restrictions makes it hard to find nutritious and tasty food in a lot of places, and by removing those surprisingly tasty vegan chicken nuggets, I now have one less thing to eat. I can’t live off of exclusively vegetables, carbs, and the occasional meat substitute that Hewitt comes up with. I know I could feasibly eat the tofu. In the interest of “health,” so-called “nutrition,” and “It’s good for you.” Or I could be bitter about the fact that an institution with a $447 million endowment can’t keep tasty vegan alternatives to meat. Who wants to live off of tofu anyway? There are so many better things to eat out there than bland Barnard tofu. Barnard is capable of making decently flavored food, so why is the tofu so bland? I’m aware that tofu can be very flavorful in certain conditions. Barnard is decidedly not those conditions. In honor of how I feel about Barnard tofu, here’s a haiku:

most tofu is bland

mushy white brick of despair

marinated blob.

Please don’t send me hate mail if you are a die-hard fan of Barnard tofu. I respect you, but I strongly disagree with your tastebuds. I might just be an itty bitty freshman whose tastebuds aren’t developed enough to appreciate bland tofu as a food. Or maybe I’ve never had good tofu because Barnard Dining is terrible at making tofu. Who’s to say? Please bring the vegan chicken nuggets back.

Tofu via Wikimedia Commons