Worried about being far away from home for the first time? Scared about staying in touch with people from home as you start your freshman year? Don’t worry, we have some advice to guide you through!

You’re sitting in your dorm, finally unpacked. You have texts from four different friends telling you to send the setup, and that they want to FaceTime soon! Outside, you have people walking around dorms, getting to know the other people on their floor. What do you do?

Staying in touch with people from home can be one of the most difficult things about college. You have to strike the balance between not ignoring the people you love from home, but being present enough at school to find people you love there. The biggest thing to remember is not to put too much pressure on yourself!! You are starting a new experience, and the people around you recognize that. You might slip up every once in a while, but these tips should make it easier for you to keep in contact with those you love. 

Staying in touch with Family and Friends: 

This one is definitely hard. Going from seeing your people every single day to really only interacting when you call is a stark change. You might jump at the chance to call your mom every second something gets confusing (such as doing laundry in college which is, let me tell you, not easy). 

While it is annoying, and probably a little scary, do your best to try to figure things out yourself first! Part of the fun of college is being independent for the first time, but with that comes the perils of actually having to be independent. Embrace them, and do your best to figure things out! If you can’t, then your parents are only one phone call away. 

The best piece of advice I received for staying in touch with family in college was to set a schedule of when to call, even if it’s only a 5 minute catch up. Things like that create a reliability that you can schedule other things around, which means you’re less likely to miss those conversations. Take a little bit to find a consistent time that works for whichever members you’re talking to, and you’ll never miss a call!

Things might be a little different with friends. One of the most important things to remember is that everyone starting college is going to be super busy. So it’s really possible that people you expected to update on every aspect of your life when you get to college suddenly go mute. Don’t blame them or yourself – it is almost 100% a symptom of the genuine disorganization that comes with starting college. While you’ll keep in touch with your closest people, don’t put too much pressure on constant facetimes, texts, and updates. The trap that many people fall into is one that almost resembles a long-distance romantic relationship. You don’t want to miss out on going to club meetings, social events, or generally being available at school because you’re constantly missing your friends from home. 

It’s definitely true that making friends in college requires some work. Especially if you have long-term close friends at home, it can feel weird to have to reintroduce yourself to everyone around you, and there is comfort in friends who already know everything about you. While it is wonderful to have those friendships, and they should be maintained, they’re going to take on a different form while you’re at school. You may replace constant texts with a facetime once a week, or have your friends visit you at school, which is one of the most fun ways to continue to build and maintain friendships from home. 

TL;DR, don’t forget about all of your friends, but be prepared to have your friendships take a slightly different form. You don’t want to be constantly comparing your new friends at school to your friends at home, because you could miss out on people that are different than what you know, but still wonderful! 

Homesickness

Homesickness is one of the hardest things to deal with at college, especially when social media makes it seem like everyone else is doing wonderfully. One of the main things to remember is that everyone is struggling with homesickness in their own way – they’re just not showing it. People are rarely crying in the quad, rather they’re spending a night in their dorm, just like you.

There are a couple great ways to stave off homesickness. The first is, of course, to reach out to the people you miss from home. If they’re unavailable, or you’re trying to be more independent, find an event to go to on campus! There’s always something happening, and even if it just means sitting on Low steps, try to be present in the moment on campus. You’re at college!! 

Another word of warning: if you live close to campus (such as within the tri-state area), try not to go home too often your first few months. Going home every weekend will cure the homesickness in the moment, but make it much harder to feel independent. Feel all the feelings on campus, and it will get easier, I promise. 

The hardest part of homesickness is just trusting that it takes time to feel better. You may be sad in the beginning, but eventually you will look on that period with nostalgia and love, with excitement about everything that has happened to you since! Don’t be afraid to be sad, but don’t let that stop you from exploring – the best of college has just begun!