Apr

1

All Aboard the Cain-Train

Written by

If you’ve noticed these 9-9-9 posters around campus, and wondered what they signify, here it is: CUCR is bringing Herman Cain to campus to speak. More ridiculous than Ahmadinejad take two? You decide. Full email below:

To the editors at Bwog and Spec:

The Columbia University College Republicans are excited to announce that former presidential candidate Herman Cain has graciously accepted our invitation to speak at Columbia this semester!  After several months of negotiations, we have secured Mr. Cain to speak at 7:00pm on Tuesday, April 10th in Low Rotunda.  As per university policy, Mr. Cain will not be endorsing any political party or candidate; however, we have requested that he speak about his tax reform plan, his reflections on the Republican presidential primary, and his experiences as a black conservative in America.

We would especially like to thank the Young Americans for Freedom for their generous financial and organizational support for this event.  We would also like to thank the Columbia Political Union for their cosponsorship.

Tickets will be available through the TIC on Monday.  Seats are available for free for anyone with a CUID, but hurry — space is limited! Also starting on Monday, tickets can be reserved online at http://www.cuarts.com/calendar/view/type/4/event_id/13364.

Sincerely,

The Columbia University College Republicans Executive Board

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44 Comments

  1. Anonymous  

    Ha ha ha, hilarious april fools.

    Captcha: buffo entaglement

  2. Anonymous  

    or is it 666 ?

  3. Anonymous  

    ROCK YOU LIKE A HERMAN CAIN

  4. Anonymous

    CUCR doesn't need April Fool's. They're a joke every day.

  5. Anonymous  

    i hope there's pizza

  6. Anonymous

    Wow, I would much rather suck my own penis than suffer through bacchanal this year. But seriously, I in all honestly would love to be able to autofellate

  7. Michelle Bachmann  

    Obama's going to be a one term president.

  8. Anonymous  

    april fools i hope...

  9. Fucking... What?  

    And if he asks me who's the president of Ubeki-beki-beki-stan-stan, I'll say, "I don't know."

    If you ain't got a job, and you ain't rich, blame yourself! The banks may have caused the crisis in 2008, but we're not in 2008, we're in 2011!

    I would've assessed... the situation in Libya, as the commander-in-chief... To see... If I would've done things differently...

    A defined benefit plan... You go first, Newt.

    We're comparing apples with oranges here. No, that's an apple!


    In all seriousness, Herman Cain, aside from being the most intolerable egomaniac in the public eye, was the biggest joke of a candidate this country has seen in a long time. He's the kind of caricature the rest of the world paints when they mock American politics... Only this time, he actually ran for the presidency. Fuck you, CUCR.

  10. AMERICA, FUCK YEAH  

    And if he asks me who's the president of Ubeki-beki-beki-stan-stan, I'll say, "I don't know."

    If you ain't got a job, and you ain't rich, blame yourself! The banks may have caused the crisis in 2008, but we're not in 2008, we're in 2011!

    Wall Street didn't put in these failed economic policies; these protesters should be at the White House [after blaming themselves]!

    I would've assessed... the situation in Libya, as the commander-in-chief... To see... If I would've done things differently...

    A defined benefit plan... You go first, Newt.

    This is a classic example of comparing apples with oranges. No, that's an apple!

    From now on, we'll only have small bills. Three pages! You'll have time to read that over the dinner table!

    In all seriousness, aside from being the most intolerable egomaniac examined by the public eye (bigger than Gulati, imagine), Herman Cain was the biggest joke of a candidate this country has seen in a long time. He's the sort of caricature the rest of the world conjures to mock the American political process... Except it turns out the doodle is the real, and the idiot actually attempted to seize the presidency. Fuck you, CUCR. This is an embarrassment.

  11. Anonymous  

    Herman Cain can speak at CC graduation.

  12. just spent half an hour on the TIC website  

    ...so, I take it this is not actually real?

    If it is someone tell me why the link won't work! I WANT A TICKET

  13. HERMANNOOOO  

    is the man

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