Everyone, you need to stop what you’re doing right now and look at this.
- Where did the linoleum floors go???
- What the fuck is this nice-ass couch?
- Why isn’t the carpet the color of vomit??
- Oh, we’re doing high stools now???
- A WELL-LIT SITTING AREA? WHAT IS THIS, A FUCKING CARMAN PARLOR?
- Even the trashcans rest their butts on wood
- WHERE ARE THE CINDERBLOCKS??
- Is this a fucking hotel bathroom??? What is this bullshit???
- Not the wall I interviewed, but the same idea.
- Oh, did we mention the fucking 10-PERSON SUITES? Because that’s a thing now.
Yes. That is right. Carman has been renovated. WE REPEAT. CARMAN HAS BEEN RENOVATED. It’s only the top three floors so far, but no doubt the lower floors will follow suit.
This is a disaster. Carman isn’t Carman if Carman is nice. The Carman identity is that it’s gross and covered in vomit with used condoms lying around in the stairwells. Renovated Carman isn’t true Carman. This isn’t fair. Every freshman should have the opportunity to experience Carman in its full disgusting glory. Columbia can’t take that quintessential Carman experience away from them. Another evil ploy by the evil administration. Also why the fuck are there 10-person suites? Whose idea was that? Thanks, Obama (CC ’83).
Carman Nonsense via Youngweon Lee
4 Comments
@Anonymous This is a tragedy
@Anonymous This makes me wanna drink with freshmen in Carmen so I can vomit all over and bring back the glory days. #MCHGA
@Anonymous Carmen is slated for an ongoing head to toe complete renovation and upgrade.
@sandy alum carman hall, fuck, it just got better
i wish i could be a freshman forever