Rollerblading to work is a move.

Arizona native Kate Welty somehow managed to get more hate than Wiz Khalifa did in his and Kanye’s respective Twitter beef (TBT). She’s coming for throats and McKinsey internships. 

Name, School, Major, Hometown: Kate Welty, SEAS, Environmental Engineering, Phoenix, Arizona

Claim to fame: A disgruntled CCSC candidate filed a 17-page complaint against me to the University Senate comparing me to Erdogan. I called a Spec reporter a dick mid-interview.

Where are you going? I’m lying and telling everyone I’m “staying in the city” but I’m actually doing Environmental Auditing in Newark, NJ. Eventually I’ll be back in Phoenix because the American Southwest is life / I’m done with all these coastal elites.

What are 3 things you learned at Columbia and would like to share with the Class of 2022?

1. Columbia has a messed up way of how we view success. You don’t have to want to start your own company or be elected class council president to have ambition, nor do you need notoriety to be making positive and necessary impact. News flash: not everyone can be the top of their field. There’s a lot of good being done and love being spread by people in the middle.

2. Be a tour guide, an orientation leader, or have some other job that gets you excited to be a Columbian. Give yourself a reminder that there’s a lot of awesome people on this campus and that we’re lucky be here. That being said, stay critical. We have a lot of power to make changes for the better.

3. Mind the gap. Seriously, those subway signs are there for a reason. Having your body pulled out from between a train and the platform is super humiliating and very painful. Plus, the subway grease never comes off your converse…

“Back in my day…” Shake Shack was a downtown luxury, the elections board existed, you could dance at Cannon’s with a local couple still there eating dinner, laundry was expensive, and the atmospheric carbon dioxide concentration was below 400 ppm.

Justify your existence in 30 words or fewer: Can you code apps/investment bank/do whatever McKinsey employees do if climate change makes the world uninhabitable? Didn’t think so.

What was your favorite class at Columbia? Professor Lisa Dale’s Public Lands of the American West. It’s this little class full of Western expatriates where you geek out about national parks and wilderness lands. I’ve never felt more at home at Columbia.

Would you rather give up oral sex or cheese? Is this not why we have string cheese.

Whom would you like to thank? Mentioning my parents right after that string cheese comment seems aggressive (sorry Mom!) but seriously would not/could not be here without them. Having loving support a phone call away has been invaluable. Thanks also to my brother Jack whose visits exponentially increase my social capital. Would be remiss if I didn’t mention my Carlton Arms 9C family (off campus life was the best thing that ever happened to me), my CEB/CPU loves, and my best friend Caitlin who lives a million miles away but still feels with me all the time.

One thing to do before graduating: Rollerblade down the Lerner ramps. I run a popular roller skating instagram (shameless plug @katerollerskates) and I feel like making it all the way down that architectural monstrosity will really cap this college thing off.

Any regrets? Infinite regrets. There were times that I got too comfortable and times I pushed myself too far. Stay in touch with your freshman floor, they saw you at your worst. Don’t fall asleep with your head in the toilet because your roommates will never let you live it down. I think I should have been in CC. I probably shouldn’t have flashed that professor (an accident, I swear).

Image via Kate Welty