Jan

29

Nuclear Standup

Written by

Live from Weapons of Mass Destruction, where Professor Paul Richards, wearing a moss-green jacket and flowered tie, cracked the following joke:

richardsA sodium atom walks into a bar, looking dejected.

Barkeep: What’s wrong?

Sodium atom: I’ve lost an electron.

Barkeep: Are you sure?

Sodium atom: Yes, I’m positive!

OK, maybe you had to be there.

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21 Comments

  1. bwog...  

    You have got to be kidding.

  2. ::nerdgasm::  

    I once saw a Chem professor's rap sheet. When he was in college, he was charged with assault and battery. In addition, his house was searched and he was found to be in possession of various sigma and pi bongs.

  3. no no  

    a chlorine atom walks into a bar and hits a sodium atom.

    what was he charged with?

    assault.

  4. but seriously  

    that isn't even postworthy.

  5. What is  

    the definition of a tachyon?
    It's a slightly wet gluon.
    ---------------------------
    A 12 year old blind orphan girl is shot from a cannon at the speed
    of 1200 fps at a solid brick wall. Calculate the force of impact given
    that the brick wall is 3 feet away from the barrel.

    if she weighs 50 lbs, and all of her sticks to the wall,
    3.3 million Newtons.

  6. yeah SEAS  

    As told by Prof. Shou-Wu Zhang:
    A bunch of functions are sitting in a bar. A guy walks in and screams, "I'm going to integrate and differentiate everybody in here!!" They all leave except e^x.

  7. this is  

    the oldest chemistry joke in existence.

  8. well  

    why does a chicken coup have two doors?

    because if it had four, it'd be a chicken sedan.

  9. woohoo!  

    i love that one! it's my favorite math joke!!

  10. AHH  

    I DON'T GET ANY OF THESE. I DON'T BELONG AT COLUMBIA UNIVERSITY!

  11. premed  

    what do you get when you cross an elephant and a banana?

    ELEPHANT BANANA SINE THETA HAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!

    ps i heard that joke in 9th grade. 9th grade, bwog.

  12. Anonymous  

    What do you get when you cross an elephant and a mountain climber?

    ERROR: A mountain climber is a scalar.

  13. Sprinkles  

    Math team: Come for the cookies, stay for the pi

  14. Sprinkles  

    And now, for an actual, non-academic joke:

    Why couldn't Helen Keller drive?

    Because she was a woman.

  15. hehehe

    thanks bwog readers, I knew you would rescue this thread.

  16. another one  

    Have you ever seen Helen Keller's house?

    Neither has she.

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