Oct

2

Grades are in: Adventures with Google Docs

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Bwog has been experimenting with Google Docs, the friendly and clean web-based word processor, (really the West Side Market of word processors). It seems that under the “Word Count” feature, the program will tell you the grade-level equivalent of your writing. We played around with this feature using some of our favorite theorists, celebrities, novelists, and lolcats!


“A civilization that proves itself incapable of solving the problems it creates is a decadent civilization.” – Aime Cesaire, Discourse on Colonialism (Grade level: 15)

“Nurture an appetite for being puzzled, for being confused, indeed for being openly stupid, and that – despite what you may think – is very difficult…We all know the cliche’ that a little knowledge can be a dangerous thing. It is also true that a lot of knowledge can be a dangerous thing as well…use your ignorance as well as your knowledge for creative means.”- Lee C. Bollinger (Grade level: 3)

“The other did not move, jackknifed backward between the two bunks, grave and clean, the cigar burning smoothly and richly in his clean and steady hand, the smoke wreathing upward across his face saturnine, humorless and calm.”- William Faulkner, Old Man (Grade level: 4)

“I can has cheezburger?”- lolcat (Grade level: 2)

“Passing from an implosion to an explosion in a chain of sounds produces a peculiar effect that marks the syllabic boundary.”- Ferdinand de Saussure, Course in General Linguistics (Grade level: 5)

“Most people only think of Mitchell as the guitar-strumming folkie that she was in the late ’60s, but her music has been moving through several phases since the mid-’70s, and Shine sums up some of the best elements of each.”- Columbia Daily Spectator (Grade level: 2)

“After days of debate, a motley pride of unlikely revolutionaries–bearded politicos, earnest academics, and multigrained environmentalists– collected their cigarettes and left Kasparov’s apartment, divided and worn out.” – David Remnick, this week’s New Yorker (Grade level: 13)

“Whoa! Jennifer Aniston and Ben Affleck’s Hot Chemistry.” – cover of this week’s US Weekly (Grade level: 7)

– JNW

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23 Comments

  1. qqqq  

    "Bwog has been experimenting with Google Docs, the friendly and clean web-based word processor, (really the West Side Market of word processors). It seems that under the "Word Count" feature, the program will tell you the grade-level equivalent of your writing. We played around with this feature using some of our favorite theorists, celebrities, novelists, and lolcats!" -Bwog

    (Grade level: 11)

  2. yeah not impressed  

    Microsoft Word does this too.

  3. this post  

    is hilarious!

  4. Wiki that shit  

    It probably uses a formula similar to this one...

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Automated_Readability_Index

  5. rly?  

    "Microsoft Word does this too."

    (Grade level: 3)

  6. tech opinion  

    For any such formula to produce meaningful results, a large volume of text must be analyzed. This is the situation with any algorithm that uses extensive averaging to derive a statistic. Given the length of the passages you used as input, all the output may be classified as meaningless noise.

  7. Yeah,  

    Microsoft Word has had this feature since at least as far back as Office 2000. You just have to dig somewhat deep into the tabs in the options (I think it’s under ‘Spelling and Grammar’) and check some boxes to enable it. It gives you a window full of “readability statistics” after it checks spelling and grammar.

  8. alexw  

    "Hello everyone. I am clearly using the Internet." Grade: 7

    "HELLO EVERYONE! I AM CLEARLY USING THE INTERNET!" Grade: 9

    Final proof that screaming makes you smarter.

  9. DHI  

    "The formula for the Flesch-Kincaid Grade Level score is:

    (.39 x ASL) + (11.8 x ASW) – 15.59

    where:

    ASL = average sentence length (the number of words divided by the number of sentences)

    ASW = average number of syllables per word (the number of syllables divided by the number of words)"
    From the Microsoft Website

  10. But  

    Microsoft Word caps it at 12, apparently Google goes up to 15 and beyond?

  11. fuck 50 words  

    This place is closed until further notice, the bailiffs coming in on Monday when they're taking all valuable merchandise to sell for drug money which is to be shared out equally amongst the magistrates mistresses theres a rumour that Egg, aka she of no knickers,will put some on when she feels the cold hands of jack frost nipping at her nether regions and sending a chill straight down her spine ending at her endless long legs which were trapped in her partner's wallet, girls can multitask only if they're not gagged but then along came a spider which spun a web over her fly (she was wearing trousers) and then seeing that the sun was shining she went back into her lovers drawers to rummage around, hi love he said go easy or you could damage the goods as well as your hands, put this cream on yer chin it protects you from chilblains and wayward Bailiffs who are after your virginity ,is this possible, are there really any left i'll let you Know where or when you attend your next knees up at the Wood choppers Ball so that you can check it out for virgins if Richard Branson decides to bring his hot air balloon into the house for a well earned rub down and perhaps up to the top or a bit of 'hows your father' then came the surprise when Teaky appeared from under the sheet's looking for one of the french letters that had become entangled in the curtain tie backs which had been "well hung" by the Egg but who else had he left under the sheets then JJ poped up janice joplin of all people - but really jaljal in disguise (recognised by the hose in his hand) and renowed for always being on top of his prey with his bible in one hand and his hose in the other he whispered to the goblin --who incidently is not related to the female goblin who fell pregnant after sitting on a toadstool-- whilst bouncing on a puff ball could you imagine the look on the face of the person reading this when it turned out that she was still dealing with the bailiff that as still looking for Eggs top two debts which she will repay when she has sorted out Teaky and his wandering hands and jj with his wandering hose but first she has to get her knickers back from the dirty pervert but the question is which one of our suspects is the knicker nicker the plot thickens - is it Teaky with his hands or JJ with his hose which is always hard to detect or is the culprit her long time lover from Ireland the one thats addicted to Ovaltine because he's always had a penchant for Egg's dirty panties ever since the 2 of them suddenly appeared on Match Of The Day but neither fitted Gary and Mark so who's are they if not Egg's could they belong to the other scarlet woman who frequents these forums and Peter thought Steph wasn’t in the running because he also knows what knickers she wears when he's preparing himself for a night of perverted passion that only the dirty goblin with the white pants would know what's inside the hidden treasure of her.



    Score: 216

  12. great post bwog  

    always helps on a long night in this hell hole called butler

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