Oof! It’s terrible outside today. If you’re late for your 10 a.m., take heed: do not bring an umbrella outside. The wind will eat it and it’ll turn inside out. Wear rainboots. Don’t catch a cold. And eat something, you look skinny. Are they even feeding you up there?

Bwog’s Weatherman Pat Blute chimes in on the situation: “Sock monkey is our resident expert on rain safety and precaution. He says the situation looks bleak. As we all learned in lit hum, each raindrop is a mixture of Zeus’ tears and lost endowment funds. It’s gonna pour all day.” Stay tuned!

Send us pictures and overheards from today’s blustery, umbrella-destroying hurricane-monster to tips@bwog.com.