Your whole life just got squeezed into one of these

Applying: Columbia sure isn’t the easiest school to get into, but they’ll be much more excited about you if you happen to be a military veteran. (NYTimes)

Extracurriculars: Outside of classes, you may find time to participate in student groups like the Quidditch team. And maybe you’ll even make it to the Quidditch World Cup, which took place this weekend (Gothamist)

The Job Hunt: Before long, your parents and more exceptional friends will provide not-too-subtle reminders of your unemployment. Panic will ensue, and you’ll probably apply to Apple or Google. But let’s be real: it’s Columbia, so odds are you’re shooting for that I-Banking job too. (WSJ)

Coming Back for More: After a few years in the real world, you might be overcome by a strange desire to return to school. Turns out Columbia isn’t a bad place to do it, as our Executive MBA Program is number two in the nation. (Bloomberg Businessweek)

Deciding to Donate: After amassing your wealth many years down the road, you might decide to increase your children’s chance of admission display your bottomless generosity by donating. But you might not want to do it to a school’s science program. (NYMag)

Trivialization of your existence via Wikimedia