May

11

Senior Wisdom: Ittai Orr

Written by

Name, Hometown, School, Major: Ittai Orr, Kennewick WA, CC, English

Claim to Fame? Writing embarrassing op-eds about sexual habits in the Spec (they’re a rough crowd over there — you should see the comment thread), making a documentary about gay kids in rural Washington State and directing Caligula this semester.

Where are you going? To become a real-life episode of “Girls” in Brooklyn while interning ad infinitum at a lefty documentary company in Chelsea.

Three things you learned at Columbia:

  1. How to appear to be taking notes in a lecture while actually stalking people on facebook.
  2. Columbia’s lightly elitist classical hold music repertoire.
  3. God is dead.

“Back in my day…” The recession was an unfortunate scalp condition, Hawkmedinejad was a thing and Wein was an insane asylum.

Justify your existence in 30 words or less:

(1) I do a shocking Lady Gaga when I’m in drag, and (2) I’m a registered democrat.

Is the War on Fun over? Who won? Any war stories? Of course the War on Fun is over. I’m in the Northwest Corner Science building, leaking out a crappy anthro paper while normal people at other colleges drink and make love. You tell ME who won!!! But honestly, I thought we were winning back in 2008 when I saw Lady Gaga, not yet famous, ride a disco stick. Don’t be jealous.

Would you rather give up oral sex or cheese? Throat cancer vs. weight gain… I choose throat cancer.

Advice for the class of 2016: Don’t believe anyone. “We’ll work it out,” they’ll tell you at some Columbia bureau or another. No they won’t. “Let’s get lunch!” They won’t. “That class is so easy!” No it’s not. “You can be an English major and get employed!” That’s a lie. “Have a nice day!” No.

Any regrets? I wish I was even weirder than I already am. There’s a group of really bizarre, narcissistic, insane gay freshmen out there and I’m rooting for you! Start a movement, be strange, be hopeful and unchain yourself from The Future. Peace out Columbia!

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22 Comments

  1. Seriously People

    First off, this is not a personal attack on Ittai Orr. I have never met the guy nor have I even heard of him but from this senior wisdom, i'm sure he's at least a nice approachable guy who gets his shit done and knows where he's going.

    NOW, onto what i really had to say:

    Seriously guys. Get with the program here. My old high school friends who graduated from Univ Maryland, College Park just last year are now buying their first house, new cars, and have all scored high paying (NON-FINANCE) decent jobs. One Pakistani kid I knew who was rejected from Columbia from what I remember, graduated from UVA and is now banking $90k doing IT work and sending monthly checks off to his relatives in Pakistan.

    get with the game, my fellow columbia graduates and soon to be alumni. wake up. time to start looking for jobs like an adult. the competition is out there. let's eat them alive.

    • with that said

      it really drives me fucking nuts when i hear a columbia classmate complain (especially in their FB statuses) that they can't find a job. look guys, if univ. maryland grads can do it, a columbia kid should have NO PROBLEM.

    • Anonymous

      I could not agree more! I am very disturbed by the number of seniors who are under-employed and unemployed at graduation. Wake up! Don't let your education go to waste. You can accomplish lofty goals, but first, you need to get serious jobs that pay serious money.

      If not, you are going to be working for people who had their shit together when they graduated from college.

      • Calm the eff down

        *GASP!* These kids are STILL unemployed one week before graduation?! They're wasting their youth, they're wasting their youth!

        If there's nothing wrong with leaping out of your swim test and into a two-year analyst contract or Law School, there is equally nothing wrong with traveling or taking a while to intern for a cause you believe in.

        Are you footing the bill? No.

        We're 22/24 for Pete's sake. Don't project your issues unto us.

      • Anonymous

        that might have to do with the dominance of history, sustainable dev, anthropology, english, english etc majors in these senior wisdoms. not surprising since usually they are the ones who have the time and freedom to delve into campus activities and add a hundred acronyms next to their names but campus popularity ≠ successful professional life. i believe most of the econ majors and SEAS kids have the jobs tho. don't forget we are also in the worst recession since 1929

    • cc '11

      your argument boils down to columbia grads being unusually lazy compared to the average college graduate (since you're using one u maryland grad who managed a 90k IT job as representative). columbia has one of the lowest admit rates in the country. doesn't it seem more logical that they're actually the ones who are probaby the most adept at handling adult things like finding a job? i'm sorry, but these arguments seem pretty out of touch with reality.

      20 years ago, you could graduate from a great school with an English degree and get a job right away. it's not the same in a tough economy: hard skills matter more and liberal arts degrees in themselves are pretty useless.

      the most irritating thing with all of this is that people who have been motivated by money from the start are now acting like they chose their STEM/finance major because they were somehow aware, as a 17 year old kid, of the horrible job market. if you were motivated by doing something you were passionate about, you'd be getting called lazy right now, too.

    • Ittai

      I said nothing about being unemployed. I have no intention of working in IT or sending checks to a family in Pakistan.
      I am very happy at my Academy Award winning documentary company.

  2. Alum

    Majority of 2012 will have full time positions by July, don't worry kitties :)

  3. don't know the guy

    but this was a spectacular senior wisdom.

    unrelated: half of my captcha is a dark gray parallelogram on a light grey background. I don't think I have that character on my keyboard...

  4. RRA  

    The advice--so true!

  5. Anonymous  

    Another flaming gay senior wisdom? Seriously BWOG?!

  6. Anonymous

    he spelled wien wrong.

  7. I want wisdom!  

    Not to hate on Ittai, he seems cool and all, but I want to hear the tricks of the trade, what Columbia seniors can tell me after four years of being here. "Don't believe anyone" is about the only useable advice from this whole post, and it's kinda depressing at that!

    SENIORS -- TELL ME WHAT I SHOULD ACTUALLY DO TO GET THROUGH THIS PLACE!!!

  8. Anonymous  

    ...was the first commenter? Kanye West?

  9. Ahhh  

    Love you Ittai!! Great Senior Wisdom <33

  10. Evergreen State of Mind  

    YEAAAH WARSH STATE represent.

  11. Margaret Yukins  

    Ittai, you're great, and I wish we'd hung out more during college! I'm sorry your Senior Wisdom had to turn into some stupid debate about post-grad unemployment. Keep doing what you do best!!

  12. yeahhh

    Ittai you're the coolesttttt guy ever!!!

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