Oct

23

The Big Sub Pulls into the Station

Written by

choo choo
choo choo

The platform is ready!

Sandwich lovers, prepare yourselves. Barnard’s Big Sub is tonight at 7, basically all over its campus. The sub is a whopping 713 feet long this year. Bwog’s insider intel recommends staking out your favorite section at least 15 minutes early for the most prime experience of this monstrous meal. Even if you’re not hungry (come on, it’s free food), come just to witness your classmates eat more than:

  • 356 – 24″ rolls = 1,424 2″ portions
  • 3 cases of turkey = 87 lbs
  • 4 cases of tuna = 100 lbs
  • 3 cases of mayo = 4 gal
  • 9 cases of shredded lettuce = 180 lbs
  • 20 cases of sliced tomatoes = 75 lbs
  • 1 case of ham = 26 lbs
  • 1 case of diced chicken = 20 lbs
  • 3 cases of American cheese = 90 lbs
  • 4 cases of zucchini = 80 lbs
  • 4 cases of yellow squash = 80 lbs
  • 3 cases of carrots = 40 lbs
  • 3 cases of red peppers = 36 lbs
  • 3 cases of eggplant = 60 lbs

There will also be vegetarian, halal, and kosher options.

Big Sub facts are from last year’s report from Associate Dean for Campus and Residential Life Annie Aversa

Update: A little rain isn’t enough to stop the Big Sub. The Big Sub planned ahead and has protection.

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13 Comments

  1. Anonymous  

    I think I know why the cops are on campus

  2. hungry cc  

    do you need to be a barnard girl?

  3. Nope  

    Strong, beautiful Barnard men are also welcome. Bon appetit!

  4. Anonymous

    Bread and circuses for all!

  5. Anonymous  

    IT WAS DELICIOUS!!!

  6. Substantial Response

    The Sub: Post-Imperialist Discourse and the Mask of Multiculturalism

    Few facts are as ever-present as pluralism. What marks the modern age of governance is the challenge brought for by this notion: how do you rule of diverse, contradicting groups while preserving both their freedom as well as the general peace? This sub, whose taste lied somewhere between subpar and sublime, gives us a model to look forward to.

    The sub's length (this time over 700 feet long) is in itself a microcosm of the problems brought forth by overpopulation in this era. Can something that was once manageable be expanded and still manageable, to the point that it does not break down? Nation-states face this problem in the imminent future, while the sub confronts its contradictions head on, at the present: if each part of the sub has done its job (i.e., to be eaten by somebody), then the sub immediately ceases to exist. In overpopulated countries it seems that we face a similar quandary: if everybody is given citizenship with no curtailment due to population quotas, then the nation-state collapses. Governing a nation with a population so vast that a single government cannot control all its constituent elements requires for a solution akin to that offered by this sub: division and subdivision.

    In Switzerland, there is a system of communes each of which, if I am correct, holds some legitimate power over a given region or canton. This model of ruling is one we find in the sub: look at the variety of flavors (or ideologies in the anthropocentric model) and notice that they cannot coexist peacefully without separation. This especially applies to the vegetarian/carnivore/omnivore sub/divisions as well as to those relating to creed. Each division then, covers a specific interest and this can be seen as the canton. Large-scale pluralist nations should adopt this approach: giving legislation to similar groups not on the basis of some discriminatory approach, of course, but on the basis of recognizing that some groups' interests and notions of the good are vastly heterogeneous. It is once this is recognized that central government must delegate its powers and give up sub/stantial control over the idea of seeing a nation as one whole.

    Consensus becomes easier in this context, for it allows all groups to be autonomous within the larger whole and prevents the issues brought forth by tyrannies of the majority (squashing minority interests and effectively kicking the members of such groups out of the social compact). Running roughshod over the people with generalist policies is dangerous when confronted with this challenge of governing a diverse spectrum of groups.

    The ethical considerations relating to taxation become much easier to digest as well when a canton collects them and uses them within the community that agrees as to how funds will be allocated.

    Some of the points I have made here are very sub/tle and require careful re-reading. In any case, all I have intended to show is that this sub, with its theoretically equally-divided portions containing contradicting meats, foodstuffs, and ideologies, provides a response: a rebuttal to the subterfuge presented by ineffective liberal that promote themselves as bastions of multiculturalism when all they effectively do is soften their methods of imperialism. The canton model is possibly the only way to deal with this and I would refer you all to inquire further into the idea of communitarianism which considers the individual/collective divide in a way that stands out from more traditional ideologies. Look into it and see that this sub may be the perfect example of that. In short, you may all have eaten the answer to orthodox political classifications.

    • Substantial Response

      wow terrible grammar in first lines. my bad...ran out of 5-hr energy

    • Unsubstantial Response  

      The furor over Bulverism has been an acutely frustrating cultural phenomenon: pregnant with great possibility, touching on vital and fascinating issues, yet initially formulated in a one-sided and money-grubbing manner that will deny citizens the ability to become informed about the destruction that the big sub is capable of by the end of the decade. What's important to note, however, is that the big sub's animadversions share many of the same characteristics. But first, I'm going to jump ahead a bit and talk in general terms about how I undoubtedly profess that the big sub is full of it. Then, I'll back up and fill in some of the details. Okay, so to start with the general stuff, if my own experience has taught me anything, it's that my long-term goal is to establish beyond a shred of doubt that there is a vast empirical literature on this subject. Unfortunately, much remains to be done. As you may have noticed, I have absolutely no idea why the big sub makes such a big fuss over negativism. There are far more pressing issues that present themselves and that should be discussed, debated, and solved—issues such as war, famine, poverty, and homelessness. There is also the lesser issue that the big sub keeps trying to deceive us into thinking that it is a voice of probity. The purpose of this deception may be to envelop us in a nameless, unreasoning, unjustified terror. Or maybe the purpose is to formulate social policies and action programs based on the most uncontrollable kinds of factionalism in existence. Oh what a tangled web the big sub weaves when first it practices to deceive.

      The big sub wants to produce an army of mindless insects who will obey its every command. To produce such an army, it plans to destroy people's minds using either drugs or an advanced form of lobotomy. Whichever approach it takes, the big sub's thesis is that the world is crying out to labor beneath its firm but benevolent heel. That's utterly uncouth, you say? Good; that means you're finally catching on. The next step is to observe that if the big sub manages to break down the industrial-technological system, our nation will not endure as a civilization, as a geopolitical entity, or even as a society. Rather, it will exist only as a prison, a prison in which hypersensitive blaggards dam the flow of effective communication. This letter has gone on far too long in my opinion and probably yours as well. So let me end it by saying merely that the big sub has nephelococcygic delusions about being able to reduce human beings to the status of domestic animals.

  7. Anonymous

    I think you might want to multipost to the Adderall thread from a day or so ago...

  8. The Dark Hand  

    I showed up and it was all gone already. Guess Spec must have gotten there before me

  9. Van Owen

    I hate fat girls. Eat up bitches.

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