63 Comments
Not in Kansas anymore, Dorothy.
Dorothy is a member of the Barnard class of 2018, an American Studies major with a concentration in journalism, a skateboarder, an artist, and an activist. But most people know them as the person who hooked up with Swae Lee, the younger brother of the hip hop duo Rae Sremmurd, after Bacchanal last Saturday. I reached out to Dorothy – whose gender pronouns are they/them, contrary to misgendering from multiple news outlets – and asked them their perspective on what happened on Saturday and, more importantly, what happened after Saturday, from confrontation on the Overheard at Barnard Facebook page to both hate and support from Twitter.
Q: What happened on Saturday?
A: During the concert, I sat on a friend’s shoulders and flashed my tits at the stage, and made direct eye contact with Swae Lee. He gave me a nice nod, and after Bacchanal had cleared out, […] one of Rae Sremmurd’s security guards called us over to their black van, and because Swae remembered me by my titties, they told us to hop in. Then they took us to the hotel. I wasn’t explicitly planning on hooking up with anyone, but I am always down for sex cuz [sic] I love my body and I love my sexuality and have mad confidence in my body and think body positivity is dope. […] The hotel was nice and we did the good stuff twice (to his music, a little weird but I was down). Then we took some pix [sic] but he was tired so security called me an uber and I left. The friend I was with was not down to have sex with Slim Jimmy so she left early, which was very respectable and I am proud of her.
Q: What made you decide to post about it in Overheard at Barnard? Was the reaction what you expected?
A: I first posted the picture because I was so hyped that I just had sex with Swae Lee and thought people would be excited too, like, that’s fucking awesome. But in the Overheard at Barnard group, my post was met with underhanded, judgmental comments like, “Why do we care?”
Q: What were your thoughts on the page’s admin questioning consent to the picture? What were your thoughts on the post being taken down?
A: It honestly didn’t bother me that much until the post was deleted because the admin was advised by “higher ups” that prospective students could see the post. What does that mean, but that my body-positivity and sexuality is offensive? That students might be deterred from attending Barnard because Barnard women are “promiscuous”? Barnard and its white feminist philosophy claims to uplift fellow women, yet has censored women and trivialized survivors of sexual abuse.
People were worried about if I had taken consent for the photo of me a [sic] Swae, which made me a little mad. Of course, every person as a human being has a right to their privacy and consent. Celebrities, by definition, are in the public eye and fall out of that category. […] This is unfortunate and makes things complicated. In some ways I feel as though I breached consent by tweeting the picture, but it was in no way explicit nor harmful. If I had posted, instead, a less “sexy” picture with him, had not asked for his consent and posted it, there would be no backlash. Yet, because a woman was in bed with him, it became a scandal. The picture contained no nudity, nor incriminating content.
Also, people on the Overheard at Barnard group brought up concerns about Swae Lee’s consent, yet no one was concerned if I consented to being pulled into their tour bus. This calls into question of whose consent and privacy is prioritized. In the group, I said something along the lines of, “Do you think celebrities give a shit about consent? Don’t talk to ME about consent.” I wasn’t insinuating that I didn’t need Swae’s consent to take the picture, rather, I was angered that people would assume malicious intent. The power dynamics of a celebrity having sex with a fan can on the outset be considered nonconsensual. It’s easy to fall victim to the pressures of a celebrity, anyone with power, however this was not the case for me in the situation, although it was the case for the friend who came with me and she promptly left the hotel. I was angered that people assumed I was the one in the situation who had the power to disregard consent.
Posting this photo wasn’t the first instance of my body being shamed/censored at Barnard/Columbia. During the concert, I was shamed and called a slut by Columbia/Barnard women, and high-fived and snconsensually [sic] touched by men. One of the security guards yelled at me from across the stage, though I had done nothing illegal nor against Columbia’s rules. I understand that this is a product of men assuming that a woman who appears hyper-sexual is an invitation, and that women who aren’t comfortable with my body are only projecting their own internalized misogyny on my confidence in my own body.
If the backlash has been this intense against me, a white woman, imagine what a woman of color has to face.
Q: What did you think about Swae’s tweets about Saturday? Do you think there are any misconceptions about the hook-up or the post that you want to clear up?
A: Sleeping with Swae Lee was about a 5 out of 10. The repercussions of it were better than the sex. Swae and his brother Slim Jimmy were texting me while Swae was tweeting [on Sunday]. He was trying to save his ass and mad that I posted the picture of us on social media, understandably, although that happens to celebrities all the time. It also looked pretty bad because I had two black eyes from a skateboarding incident last Saturday, where I fell off my board and hit my head and got a severe concussion, giving me crazy racoon eyes. He lied about the video he said he had, but I don’t really care. A funny text Swae sent me though was “I’m out here looking crazy you have two black eyes.” (And my response: “I have a concussion man I’m just messing around it’ll blow over in a few days just focus on your music man.”) They’re just kids dealing with shit too, and being famous is hard, but they’re also fuckboys like everyone else. I’m happy though because I now have 2,136 twitter followers and am getting a lot of love and respect from twitter community (as well as a lot of hate). I’m planning on continuing to skate and maybe make some new fans off my twitter followers. I would love to channel Amber Rose and body positivity in a community forum. I also hope my parents never find out.
Instagram via Dorothy
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63 Comments
@Don Quixote Everything we know about this comes from the online world – it’s all social media, comments, words, strung together in a matter of seconds. Information is sent out with such speed and multiplicity that we’re not even sure if the comments are real, if the interview is real.
It’s all just simulations bruh.
~ Don Quixote de La Mancha, in service of the illustrious Dulcinea of Toboso
@Ear drummer So sad she wants to promote femenisim by having a one night unprotected stand with a B list at best Rapper
@Balls-Deep #fuckme, #tmzgetatme, #herememberedmebymytitties
@Swae Lee I was honestly hoping y’all would understand I literally do not have a type….
@Red Cup Ok, let me set things straight. Nobody got my permission to put their hands and mouth all over me. They just kept feeding me liquor. I woke up the next day with everyone talking about me. How do you think I felt?!
This is another example of white straight cis-humanocentrism commodifying my peoples!!
@Post from the actual "baddie w the red cup" Also, Swae was cool with the pics, he obviously snapped the both of us, but his bodyguard and his brother both expressed contempt about it. I’m all for sexual freedom but in retrospect, the poor kid trusted us. Even with his brother telling him to stop he let us take pics and was actually really nice and accommodating. I think the worst part about this —is that his trust was totally violated. I think it’s safe to say nobody would really want a pic like that to go viral.
@Nidia So BEING the other girl that left the hotel, let’s clarify, I fell victim to NO power dynamic. AS a women of color, being a minority had nothing to do with my decision either. In fact, both brothers were consenting that they did want to have sex but I wasn’t up for it! To leave was a rejection of any “pressure” or leverage a celebrity might possess. Everyone knows what these rappers are about, they are very explicit about that. My decision to leave was just that, MY decision. You’re entitled to your own sexuality practice but don’t belittle my agency in this situation. I had fun, they were TIRED, I left. Period.
@Balls-Deep Nida, I think you are fine af. I’m sorry for objectifying you, but damn. I would like for you to objectify me.
@BC '19 Sharing this photo and believing it was a celebration of female sexuality is completely ridiculous. It was shared so they could receive kudos for landing in the bed of a relatively famous guy, not to celebrate women and sexual freedom. The hashtag from the original post says it all, #tmzgetatme
@The Eternal Optimist “I also hope my parents never find out”
@Van Owen Dorothy, you seem like a real asshole. Way to go, cheers.
@CC'19 Frankly, I think the most telling detail is that the example that they came up with for a judgmental comment was “Why do we care.” The fact that other people not caring about their sex life offends them in my mind shows that this whole thing was never about activism, only attention
@Anonymous Why does she want to be referred to with plural pronouns? Is she that narcissistic?
@Anonymous Using they as your pronoun is not about being pluralized, it is about being gender-neutral and non-binary. Do not deliberately mis-gender someone, even if it is just in a comment.
@lol this post got bwog more traffic than all of this year’s content combined
@Nah Did you miss tampongate?
@Hmm I’m so sick of the double standards perpetuated by some activists . It’s ok for you to commodify Swae Lee and congratulate yourself on/advertise your sexual exploits, but it’s not ok when the genders are switched? Not cool
@Hi Honestly, Dorothy, I’m super impressed. You don’t seem to be the kind of girl to give a fuck if I say this or not, but I think that this interview actually displays serious maturity and a ‘come at me attitude’ that I actually really admire. One of my friends said that “i found her very sober, self-critical, aware of her privilege and nonchalant about it all, love it” and I think that about sums it up.
Anyway, A+ and fuck all these people who care about this apparently a hell of a lot more than you do.
@Forethought you see that thing over there, floating away? It’s your employment options. You may still have a shot at Jezebel tho.
@please finish intro to gender studies I really don’t understand this attitude like “I’m a true feminist unlike Barnard – I even think about women of color!!!” You don’t get a cookie for not being overtly racist. And this attitude is actually the epitome of white feminism. You complain about how you should be allowed to be sexual and comfortable in your body, and that’s great! I applaud you! But women of color such as myself are often hyper-sexualized against our will, which puts us at greater risk of sexual assault and abuse. And it is white feminist to assume that publicizing your experience is some sort of radical activism for women at Barnard and beyond.
I’m going to have to second one of the original comments – why do we care? Like, congrats on the sex, but I don’t see why you thought it was a big enough deal to announce to the entire Overheard group. Fans have sex with celebrities all the time. Calm down and google some context for all the buzzwords you used here.
@responding to the second paragraph nobody comments “why do we care” on any other post on Overheard at Barnard when ALL the posts are about sharing funny experiences that are “not a big deal.” the fact that this post was singled out when “why do we care” is a legitimate response to EVERY POST makes it an underhanded judgmental comment
@responding to the second paragraph responded to wrong paragraph
@lol I like how they think it was shitty of people to ask if they had consent, and even had their friend comment to imply that asking Dorothy the details was triggering/inappropriate because they have been through trauma. Then came a shitstorm of people waving around their SA PTSD like swords.
We had every right to worry. People getting photos snapped of them post-sex without consent or experiencing other forms of sexual humiliation or violation of privacy is a real thing that happens to real people, not even just celebrities. In the trigger warning war, something I hesitate to even enter unless in cases like these, Dorothy loses big time. They evoked the image of someone being snapped post-sex while they’re sleeping, which is way more frightening/”unsafe” for people to see without context than someone asking them if they got consent to take the pic. Selfish, narcissistic, and a fake activist.
@Mr. Munk When you go to college after prep school and decide you’re some kind of sexually enlightened prophet. Get fucked.
@CC '14 Pretty sure they already did…
@idea CLICK YA HEELS AND GON ON HOME
@bc '19 it’s people like her who make me embarrased that i go to this school
@bc '13 I am sorry you are embarrassed. You clearly have a high level of insecurity, which is normal while you are growing up. Take some time to reflect on you and what you want to accomplish in life – when you focus on the things and the people that make you happy, you feel a lot less embarrassed by your choices. Good luck with the rest of your undergrad career!!
@Sit down “Imagine what women of color has to face” …..FAKE ACTIVIST LIKE YOU
@Krishana Chill fam I – a woman of color – helped Dort write this article. They made this point when we were discussing what to write and I told them to include it because this is the mindset with which she ACTUALLY engages with her peers and surroundings.
@Cmon Asking “why do we care” is not underhanded or judgmental…it’s genuinely questioning why you think you should be met with egregious praise and excitement for sleeping with a celebrity at a concert when it happens every day.
@uh nobody comments “why do we care” on any other post on Overheard at Barnard when ALL the posts are about sharing funny experiences that are “not a big deal.” the fact that this post was singled out when “why do we care” is a legitimate response to EVERY POST makes it an underhanded judgmental comment
@An American Hero “Swae remembered me by my titties”
@Outsider Dorothy
1. You do not identify as a she but refer to yourself as a woman repeatedly in the interview.
2. You publically state that your sexual interaction was only mediocre, though you brag about it on social media and are thrilled at the increase in Twitter followers and the attention you’ve received by your social media posts- with future hopes of gaining more fans and advancing your social media status.
3. You admit he didn’t consent to the posted picture with caption and you feel a slight twinge of guilt, but quickly decide it’s ok because he’s a celebrity.
4. You call him a fuckboy, but criticize ‘insecure’ women who called you a slut.
5. It’s ok for you to appear hyper sexual- that’s how you express yourself, and no one should take that as an invitation to touch you (I can 100% agree on that point); but he’s a fuckboy celebrity with privilege so it’s ok for you to exploit him. (Ummm, what??)
Clearly you feel that what’s good for you is not good for others.
You want your cake and eat it too… often at the expense of someone else.
As they say- you do you- but it shouldn’t be with disregard to other people, celebrity or not.
I have no good words for you, but hey- all publicity is good publicity, am I right?
@Anonymous did you go to a doctor for the concussion? don’t mess with your brain! that’s serious stuff! stay healthy dorothy!
@Anonymous They went to Barnard. Pretty sure their brain is already a little screwy.
@bc '13 Thanks for respecting the gender pronoun. That’s Step 1. Step 2: don’t judge thousands of women for the undergraduate institution they chose. Live and let live, dude.
@CC '15 SO glad I went to Columbia and not Barnard
@SEAS '17 Thank God I went to SEAS and not CC with all you ignorant shit head. Does that makes sense in relation to this article? NO. Does your comment? NO.
@lol TFD someone gets into both and chooses Barnard
@Rambo I think it is totally fine that they had sex, who cares, doesn’t matter. But the real issue here is that they think his consent is forfeit because he is a celebrity. If they believe that being a celebrity means forfeiting the notion of consent, did Dorothy think it was totally acceptable and great when Jennifer Lawrence’s nudes were leaked to the internet without her consent? Because if you are a celebrity consent and boundaries don’t matter, right?? Or all the countless times when paparazzi way overstep boundaries and photograph celebrities naked or in their homes? Seems like Dorothy hasn’t thought this through. There is a serious problem with Dorothy posting this guy’s photo without his consent, and it is so stupid of them to deny that.
@honestly yes exactly
@SEAS '17 Exactly what im thinking.
@Lawrence's nudes were way different The pic that Dorothy posted did not show any private parts of Swae Lee! If that photo was broadcast on prime-time television, there would be no blurred out places on his body. Different from the Jennifer Lawrence photo hack, where the photo showed every part of her and was stolen by a total stranger. If anyone, Swae Lee was the one who crossed the boundaries by posting a video of Dorothy’s breasts to Twitter and Snapchat.
@Anonymous Is this typical of a Barnard student? She treats people like trash, is narcissistic, and shows absolutely no concern, emotion, or ethics.
@SEAS '17 Not at all, I dont understand how she could have fallen through the cracks. I know too many cool Barnard people. This chick sounds IRC-Breed with her fake politics.
@bc '13 Barnard is considered a small undergrad, but it does have over 2500 enrolled students. Not sure why it would occur to you that the extremely odd behavior of one student would represent that of all students. Perhaps you should take an introductory statistics course… they’re offered at both Columbia and Barnard so take your pick!
@I get mad likes Lets not forget who is in SEAS and who went to Barnard. I’m sure their stats ability is profoundly superior to yours.
@The person whose shoulders you sat on I am not your friend and i did not consent for you to do what you did. Get that straight. It is not cool to ask to go on someone’s shoulders and then totally betray their trust. It is even less cool to pretend that that person is your friend.
@don't worry boo she sat on multiple people’s shoulders including mine, aka her friend. Don’t be mad now boo
@OP so what was okay for you, their (her?) friend, ought to be okay for me? I’m really confused by that logic.
@cc '11 I can’t believe how much more narcissistic students have become since I graduated 5 years ago.
@:-( so sad that u graduated 5 years ago and are commenting on this :-(
@bc '13 reading bwog post-grad is fun! don’t worry, you’ll understand when you’re older :)
@honestly what a jerk.
@Popcorn *Munch munch*
@genuine question refers to themselves as a woman multiple times in the piece
goes by they/them pronouns
am i missing something with how pronouns work??
@tbh I can’t say I hundo p understand either, but why does it really matter? if they want you to refer to them as they/them why do you feel the need to challenge it? it has veryyyyyy little effect on you so like just deal with it? not trying to be rude just really feel like if that’s what they want it’s not that hard to refer to them as they/them and also as a woman.
@The Cloaked Mask SPEC SUCKS!!!! spec sucks dot wordpress dot com!!!!!!
@cc14 the spec sucks person is still around? damn that’s dedication
@genuine answer she has a woman’s body and that’s what she’s referring to when she speaks of herself as a woman
@Anonymous She is your quintessential wannabe, pseudo-intellectual, proto-punk feminist who rehashes whatever she thinks is “progressive” and “edgy.”
She is a fake activist who thinks it’s OK to post pictures without consent (since Swae Lee is a celebrity and he has no rights) and completely disregard the well-being of other when it is convenient.
A desperate, wannabe loser.
@I get mad likes Spot on. It’s pretty obvious by her own account that he was not happy with posting of such pic. Quintessential hypocrisy.