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Senior Wisdom: Caleb Oldham

sLiving life to the fullest

In his Senior Wisdom, Caleb told us to scheme, to randomly email our professors, and to surprise everyone all the time. 

Name, School, Major, Hometown: Caleb Alan Oldham, Columbia College, Economics, Sapulpa, Oklahoma

Claim to fame: Introducing this campus to a man named Joe Fusco (pictured below). He’s my soulmate and the background of my phone. We’re living together after college. I’d love to introduce you if you haven’t already met.

Joe Fusco (pictured here)

Where are you going? To live with Joe Fusco in Brooklyn.

What are 3 things you learned at Columbia and would like to share with the Class of 2021?

Before I left for college my mom quoted South Park thusly: “Children, there’s a time and place for everything, and it’s called College.” With that in mind, here are three acronyms to live by throughout your wondrous four years here:

1) S.E.A.T.T. (Surprise Everyone All The Time)

Surprise the people you know with little gifts. Surprise the people you don’t know with “howdy doody’s.” Surprise people by jumping out of things, or with how much effort you put into making a facebook event. Surprise yourself!

2) E.Y.T.R. (Email Your Teachers Randomly)

Send a random email to one of your professors that says something like “Wanna go on a walk with me after class?” They might say yes out of confusion, and you will both have a great time.

3) N.S.S. (Never Stop Scheming)

Scheme baby scheme. This is what college is really about.

“Back in my day…” We had to cut ourselves out of our own walls.

Justify your existence in 30 words or fewer: I am very happy.

What was your favorite class at Columbia? “Walk this way.” It’s a class all about walking, and it inspired me to try to walk the Appalachian Trail one time.

Would you rather give up oral sex or cheese? Give up all cheese or one form of sexual pleasure? I’ll take the cheese, please.

One thing to do before graduating: Record at Columbia’s student-run recording studio CU Records :)

Any regrets? Not enough cheese.

Photos via Caleb Oldham

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8 Comments

  • caleb oldham is says:

    @caleb oldham is pretty cute

    1. knower says:

      @knower don’t talk like that in front of Joe Fusco, he has very fast hands

  • cumb17 says:

    @cumb17 Caleb so glad to have known you since freshman year, your scheming has never failed to entertain and make this campus a better place :)

  • g.t.b. says:

    @g.t.b. 1 of us. 1 of U.S.

  • Joey Dags says:

    @Joey Dags So…is he gay?

    1. someone who knows says:

      @someone who knows nope i can confirm he is not

    2. Anonymous says:

      @Anonymous in my dreams

  • pizza service says:

    @pizza service where’s jakes pizza bro

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