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How Slang Would Work If My Roommate Were In Charge

Recently, I asked my roommate what he thinks some slang words and acronyms mean that he wasn’t familiar with. Here’s how you’d use his definitions in a sentence.

An artistic rendering of a verbal achievement.

FOMO 

My roommate’s guess: “Forming mozarella”

“Yeah, working at the pizza place is really fun. The dough spinning is easy but I’m having a lot more trouble with FOMO, so my coworker has to help me out.”

What it actually means: “Fear of missing out”

“Every Friday night I’m not at 1020 or EC I feel such massive FOMO that I just drink wine in my room until I pass out.”

Stan

My roommate’s guess: “Pakistan”

“Can’t believe we found Osama in Stan, dude.”

What it actually means: “Am obsessed fan / to obsess over something or someone”

“I stan Sunil Gulati so hard.”

fr

My roommate’s guess: “Free response”

“I think I aced the mc’s but the fr’s really meated my mondays.”

What is actually means: “For real”

No, man, yeah, fr, fr.

Softboy/Softboi

My roommate’s guess: “Someone who’s very plushy and… fat?”

“Baymax from Big Hero 6 is the ultimate softboy”

What it actually means: “Like a fuckboy, but more *sensitive*”

“I knew he was a softboy when I got to his room and saw the vintage record player.”

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