This is how all my nightmares begin

It’s probably been a hot minute since you did your laundry. Maybe less a hot minute, and more of a hot year. Yes, finals season is almost over, but you’re down to your last pair of underwear, and it’s time to tackle head-on that singular monster that’s been haunting your waking hours – the contents of your laundry hamper. But how much laundry exactly do you have to do? Bwog is here to answer that question for you.

Assumptions made:

• There have been 10 days since the last day of classes.
• The last time you did laundry was the last day of classes.
• You accumulate 1.5 loads of laundry every 5 days, making that 0.3 loads of laundry each day.
• Each shower you skipped subtracts 0.1 loads of laundry.
• An individual skips approximately 2 showers during finals period.
• You have to wash your bedding before you leave for break. Bedding adds 0.5 loads of laundry.

Mathemagic:

• 10 days*(0.3 loads of laundry per day) – 2 showers skipped*(0.1 loads of laundry saved for each shower skipped) + 1 set of bedding*(0.5 loads of laundry added for each set of bedding) = 3-0.2+0.5 = 3.5 loads of laundry
• Did you order new underwear from Amazon at any point during finals season just to put off doing laundry? You did, didn’t you? Well darn you, Jeff Bezos! That adds 1 load of laundry, bringing it to a grand total of 4.5 loads of laundry to do before you leave school for break.

Conclusions:

• Wow, you have a lot of laundry to do!
• You might want to stop reading this post.
• Like actually, stop reading this post.
• And do your laundry.
• Need more convincing? Yeah, we get it. You’ve been working really hard, and you’re probably tired. That’s super valid. But Housing will kick you out if you don’t leave by Friday, so it’s time to bite the bullet and get to work!
• Also, you skipped showers this week? Go, take a shower, get on that please. Youse is smelling bad.

My skin has cleared exponentially since my micro final via Bwog Archives