Bwogger Jordan Merrill tells the people what they need to hear.

As Columbia slash Barnard students, we can be certain about one thing: we are all fucking nerds. I never thought it would come to the day where we could differentiate the different sects of nerd, but here we are. Find out which sect you’re in based on where you study on campus!

• Butler: If Butler Library is your go-to study space, then I hate to be the one to tell you this, but you’re a Basic Nerd. You probably went to Butler to study for your first midterm freshman year and never looked back…or tried anything new…ever. Please, for your own sake, explore this campus.
• NoCo: People who study in NoCo are either Engineering Nerds or Artsy Nerds, with very little in between. Engineering Nerds can be found reading engineering erotica (physics textbooks), while the Artsy Nerds are likely to be staring out the window of Joe’s, thinking about art.
• Avery: If you have a big test coming up and your first thought is to go to Avery Architectural and Fine Arts Library, you are most likely a Nerd from Abroad- an International Nerd, if you will. I’m not really sure why, but this just seems to be the case. Maybe the extremely tall bookshelves are reminiscent of the beaches of France, or something.
• Milstein: If your favorite study space is Millie, you are a Gorgeous and Intelligent Nerd! I’m sorry, these are just the rules. The natural sunlight that streams in is a great way for Barnumbia students to work on their tans and makes this library much less, frankly, sad than other libraries on campus.
• Mudd: If you’re studying for a test in Mudd, there’s a 90% chance you’re a Sad Nerd. Get out. For your own sake. It’s probably 3 AM and the studying isn’t helping anyways. Drink a chamomile tea, stop crying into your textbook, and go to bed you sweet, sweet nerd.
• Your Own Room: If you’re studying in your room, there’s a good chance you’re a Dumb Nerd. Your room is the place you go to when you “want to study,” but actually just want to watch conspiracy Youtube videos, or maybe do something less weird. Also, the place you study should never be close to the place you sleep. That just cannot be healthy.

Picture via Some Columbia Webpage