Daily Editor Henry Golub provides the facts you deserve.

Happening in Outer Space: The Voyager 1 probe just learned who won the Crimean War (Buzzlightfeed).

Happening in the World: Scientists in Italy spilled spaghetti at lunch, confirming gravity (Mamma Mia Cooking Blog).

Happening in the US: Trump announced plans to dig a moat along the US-Asia border (Presidential Affairs).

Happening in Fordham: Starting tomorrow, Fordham Student Government will outfit all dorm rooms with cup holders (Lincoln Center Town Crier).

Happening near Campus: Nussbaum & Wu will serve no bagels or cream cheese this Saturday (Google).

Happening on Campus: Columbia will begin replacing all righty desks with lefty desks today (A Step In The Wrong Direction News Dot Calm).

Song Rec: “The Star-Spangled Banner,” By Alexander Graham Bell

A great make-out song.

Convenience Maximál via Wikimedia Commons