Staff Writer Abi Peters lucked out with an entire dingle all to herself. What does one do with all that space? Here are ten ideas. 

The ever-elusive dingle. Through fate, circumstance, or one sexile too many, one can suddenly find themselves in possession of a double all for themselves. “But what do I do with such free space?” you cry. Never fear, I, a current proud owner of my very own dingle, have compiled this handy list to help you figure out what to do with all that room. Dream big and take notes.

1. Build a fountain.
2. Make an ice sculpture garden, charge $5 entry, and watch the money roll in. You’ll make money and keep cool in the summer!
3. Grow an orchard and frolic around in it.
4. Create a tiny beach. Who needs Low steps when there’s a whole ass beach in your room?
5. Get a dog, dress it up in clothes, and tell everyone it’s your new roommate. Chances are, they won’t want to offend by asking questions.
6. Buy a trampoline. A fun way to de-stress and annoy everyone around you!
7. Recreate Butler in your room, by turning one wall into a bookshelf, to feel a sense of impending doom every single day.
8. Push the beds together, but don’t stop there. Push all of the furniture together into the center of the room. Now worship the furniture god you have created.
9. Turn your room into a bakery. Publish a cookbook. Become a famous baker. All from the comfort of your dingle.
10. Invite the rats to hang out for some company. The rats will elect you leader of all rats because of your spacious room. You will control all the rats.

Now go forth into the world and pray that a dingle comes your way so you, too, can have a tiny beach inside your room.

Image via Bwog Archives.