Wise, wise wisdom.

Name, School, Major, Hometown: Marla Solow, Barnard College, Political Science, Washington D.C.

Claim to fame: Yelling at zionists on campus and starting every conversation with “hey have you heard about dc statehood?”

Where are you going? To nap

What are 3 things you learned at Columbia and would like to share with the Class of 2023?

  1. Go to class even if you didn’t turn in an assignment or finish the readings. It is truly always better to send an email, ask for extensions, go to office hours than it is to avoid professors and skip class. Don’t let feeling so guilty or ashamed keep you from dealing with the situation.
  2. Draft your emotional texts and run it by a friend before you send it
  3. That weird balcony area behind Altschul is a good place to talk on the phone and cry

“Back in my day…” Late night was at Hewitt with endless nachos and cantaloupe, the snow tried to shutdown queer astrology twice, Diana had carpets and the mouse came out every night at 10pm to terrorize me

Favorite Columbia controversy? When Barnard students turned out to vote in record breaking numbers (49.9% turnout) and passed a referendum to divest from companies complicit in Israeli apartheid (64.3% in favor) and President Beilock refused to even pretend to care about the democratic process and cowardly shut it down… Also chat zones in Milstein

Justify your existence in 30 words or fewer: Once I titled a presentation “I’m addicted to you, don’t you know that you’re toxic (masculinity)”

What was your favorite class at Columbia? History of the South with Barbara Fields and U.S. Lesbian and Gay History with George Chauncey

Would you rather give up oral sex or cheese? Sounds like a recipe for a yeast infection

Whom would you like to thank? Friends (late night snacks and commiseration), sisters (late night texts), Appletree market (late night meatball subs)

Wait do i need to thank egg sandwiches

One thing to do before graduating:  sex in the stacks, hmu ?

Any regrets? I never found out who peed in my trashcan sophomore year in Plimpton. Was it you??? I’m not mad I just need to KNOW. this has haunted me