First day of classes is here! First-years will be showing up to classes 10 minutes early with a full set of office supplies and Ferris avo toast, while seniors will be showing up 10 minutes late with nothing but a coffee and an empty pen. 

Happening in the World: After satellite imagery displaying an explosion at the Imam Khomeini Space Center circulated last week, Iran has admitted that the blast from the photos originated from a technical malfunction in a planned satellite launch (Politico).

Happening in the US: Hurrican Dorian, now a Category 3 storm, has caused at least five confirmed deaths on Abaco Island in the Bahamas. After battering the Bahamas in surges 12 to 18 feet above normal tide levels over the weekend, Dorian is expected to shift north near Florida’s coastlines tonight (CBS).

Happening in NYC: Monster Energy drink made a case for its ability to “Unleash the Beast!”, as a shoplifter attempted to steal 36 cans of Monster Energy from a Rite Aid yesterday. Before fleeing the store, he threatened an employee with a hypodermic needle and “threatened to poke him with it,” according to police (Gothamist).

Happening on Campus: Olivia, a French film about the relations between the teenagers and faculty of an 1890’s boarding school, is showing on Low Steps tonight at 7:30 PM. This event is the result of a collaboration between Films On The Green, Columbia Maison Francois, and Sézane, among other organizations! More information here.

Wellness Fact of the Day: Honey literally never, ever expires! Its antimicrobial properties make it a wonder ingredient for calming those late-summer bug bites and acne breakouts. Also, with just some honey and coconut oil from MoWill, you can also make a two-ingredient hair mask that strengthens your hair and soothes your scalp on a I-also-pay-Columbia-tuition budget.

Schoolin’ these heaux via Pixabay