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CAVA Yelp Reviews, Kinda

One key part of being a student at Columbia: being CAVA’d. Here are the reviews.

After hearing a few stories of (and seeing a few…) people being CAVA’d, I took it upon myself to get first hand reviews of the institution.

I first went to the internet. There is a lone yelp review of CAVA, rather positive, which reads as follows:

“My CAVA experience was unlike many other people’s: I was completely sober. While trying to live my best #fitlife I fucked up my foot at rumble #notsponsored. After hobbling my way back to campus, I called public safety to give me a proper escort to the hospital. Little did I know that 3 strapping, young, fit Columbia students would soon be knocking at my door. When they guided me to the stretcher, I suddenly experienced PTSD flashbacks to my last time on a stretcher while blacked out. I would have to say this was a much better experience. The ambulance driving was a smooth, easy ride of about 3 blocks and the EMTs kept me entertained with talks of our astrological charts. Overall, 10/10 experience. Would call CAVA again.” 

This wasn’t enough for me, so I asked others to tell me about their experiences.

Here are some drunken recounts of CAVA interactions from your fellow peers:

“I wasn’t even that drunk they just showed up, in my room, 5am, a full hour since I had stopped drinking, and took my vitals… what the fuck? I was fully passed out by that point and I didn’t even get an ambulance ride. At least that’s what my roommate tells me. She also was the one  that called them.”

“They were nice, made jokes. I’d call them on my roommate again”

“Well I got a therapist out of my ASAP meeting following being CAVA’d so we doin better ladies… we doin better.”

“CAVA? I prefer chipotle.”

But the most impactful review of all: “CAVA changed my life.”

If you or a friend needs it, CAVA (now CU EMS) can be reached at

Ambulance: 212-854-5555

General Information: 212-854-2284

(give em a call, people seem to say they’re at least a 4.5/5, both the restaurant CAVA and Columbia’s CAVA)

sexy ambulance via Public Domain Pictures

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