Housing selection is coming up, and it’s never too early to set the scene for what you expect. 

There’s a couple of obvious roommate agreements that go without saying, like no singing out loud past midnight when the lights are out… Oh, wait. It seems like other people either have no common sense or just have hearts blessed by the sound of music. Here’s a list of agreements to make with you roommate that I, and fellow Bwog staffers, regret not writing? (Listed in no particular order).

• No calling daddy at 3 am to talk about how you want to become a housewife and hate everyone at Barnard.
• If it’s 1 am and I’m tired, fuck the lights, I’m going to sleep (unless you and your roommates are all raging about boys into the wee hours of the night, then I retract previous statement about lights).
• And again, if it’s late and the lights are all off, please do not turn them all on. Use your phone flashlight and stumble.
• No staring at your roommate whilst sitting atop your desk and eating fries. Especially not if you are eating the fries very… slowly…
• No puking into a plastic bag while laying in bed. And if this were to happen, then absolutely no falling from the bed and getting both of our rugs filthy!
• No calling your roommate a liar, paranoid, or a crazy bitch.
• Vacuum! Your! Hair! Please! (Or Swiffer… just do SOMETHING man).

Similarly important negotiations courtesy of Wikimedia Commons