We’ve all flown to the moon, ended up at the bottom of the sea, and ventured into that mysterious cave, but now it is time to take on the wildest, most unexpected, truly thrilling adventure of them all: your social isolation Tuesday in quarantine. 

In order to stay true to the books, we’ve created a fully immersive story experience below. If you are not familiar with the books, and even if you are, this is worth reading. As you read, you will be presented with a question and two answers (a and b). Depending on your answer, you will either be asked to Read on, in which case you will continue reading down the page, or you will be asked to find an image that appears later. If you are directed towards a certain image, skip down the page to that image and continue from there. Sometimes you will be told that You’ve come to the end of your quest. Read on to determine the final outcome of your day, this means you have ended your adventure and you must read the following description to discover the end to your day. Now that you know the rules, you can choose to read on or you can find a new Bwog article; consider this your first adventure decision.

So, you’ve decided to follow the written quest. Now, (imagine you fall through a vortex of color, sound, and adventure…) welcome to your quarantine Tuesday.

What time do you wake up?

a. Umm… I guess I wake up in time to eat Lucky Charms for lunch. Transport yourself to the image of a professor. Actually it’s just a picture of Albert Einstein. 

b.  I wake up with the rooster. Early bird gets the worm or whatever. Read on. 

Ok. Congrats. You’re an early riser. Now, how do you start your morning?

a. Phone, phone, and phone. Skip to the image of a Nokia brick phone.

b. Brush my teeth. Fresh breath is the only way to attack the day. Read on. 

Don’t mind us asking, but, what kind of toothpaste do you use?

a. Toothpaste? Transport yourself to the image of a professor. Actually it’s just a picture of Albert Einstein. 

b. Colgate. Duh. You’ve come to the end of your quest. Read on to determine the final outcome of your day. 

I’m sorry. but you are too perfect for this. We get it, you wake up early, you brush your teeth, with tOoThPasTe. Your day is going to be fine and very normal. Have fun.

Yes, this is the Nokia Brick you’ve been looking for.

Which app do you check first? (This is assuming that you don’t actually own a Nokia brick).

a. Social media apps such as, Friendster, Myspace, you know the kind. Transport yourself to the image of a professor. Actually it’s just a picture of Albert Einstein. 

b. Your garden in Gardenscapes. You’ve come to the end of your quest. Read on to determine the final outcome of your day. 

Ok awesome, awesome, you have Gardenscapes. This is actually a cry for help; I’ve spent 20 hours in the last two days playing. I’m out of hearts. Please send me lives and/or coins. You can find my garden at PresBoLuvr_23785. This is your destiny. DO IT.

Yup. You found Albie.

Your Intro-to-Whatever Teacher is having a zoom class. Do you go?

a. No thank you. Transport yourself to the image of the eggplant emoji. 

b. Yes. Skipping class, even Zoom class, is for nerds. You’ve come to the end of your quest. Read on to determine the final outcome of your day. 

You chose to go to class. Have fun withering away in your 100+ person Zoom lecture which goes on for four hours due to ‘technical difficulties.’ You spend the rest of your day in bed, contemplating all of your life decisions.

This has nothing to do with anything. Clear your dirty mind.

Instead of going to class, you decide to…

a. Go back to sleep. You don’t even remember why you woke up in the first place. Go to the image of an acid trip visualized. (The colorful swirly one). (The one with pink, blue, red, brown?, and purple). (It’s swirly with some sharper angles). (JUST FIND IT PLEASE).

b. Make myself some coffee. Read on. 

Beans, beans, the magical fruit, the more you eat… Wait no. Different kind of beans. Kind of still applies though right. Anyway. What kind of coffee are you making?

a. Just your generic cup of coffee. Maybe add some (oat, chia seed, walnut, I don’t even know) milk. Skip to the image of a puzzle.

b. Keurig. You’ve come to the end of your quest. Read on to determine the final outcome of your day. 

Stop right there! Put down the Keurig! Please consider a new way to make coffee. Please. Try Nespresso, the pods are recyclable!! Just stop consuming Keurig coffee. We’re serious.

Yes. This is it.

Dreams have definitely been more vivid in quarantine, and while napping you had some weird dreams. Did you dream of…

a. Just your normal weird. Fish riding a bicycle. Marrying your 5th-grade crush, but he’s blue now and also has an eye patch. Wandering through your old high school, but wait, this isn’t my old high school. That kind of thing. Skip to the image of a puzzle. 

b. Something really weird. I’m talking really weird. You’ve come to the end of your quest. Read on to determine the final outcome of your day. 

Your mind needs to be evaluated. You spend the rest of the day on a Zoom psychoanalysis therapy session.

I love puzzles. That’s all.

You’ve hit late-day boredom. You decide to start a jigsaw puzzle.

a. Puzzles aren’t my thing. I give up. Find the image of those classic Krispy Kreme donuts (if you spell doughnuts like that you are definitely SEAS).

b. I spend the rest of my day trying to finish my puzzle. You’ve come to the end of your quest. Read on to determine the final outcome of your day. 

The outcome of your day is in your choice. Do you really need me to explain again? You spend the rest of your day trying to finish the puzzle. But will you ever finish?? That’s one secret I’ll never tell. XO XO…

Do they deliver?

It is food time. What meal is it? Unknown. Do meals-as-we-used-to-know-them exist in quarantine? Who knows. You decide to make yourself…

a. Doesn’t matter what I’m cooking, but I’m gonna eat well. You’ve come to the end of your quest. Move on to the image of a trophy.

b. Ramen. Dry. Boiling water is difficult.  You’ve come to the end of your quest. Read on to determine the final outcome of your day. 

A sad end to a sad day. You fall asleep watching Dateline and wake up the next day frazzled, on the couch, having dreamt about social contact with your kidnapper.

Gold medal for you.

You’ve won quarantine. Congratulations. Keep doing what you’ve been doing for the next five months.

Adventure image via Flickr

Nokia image via Bwog Archives 

Einstein image via Bwog Archives

Eggplant emoji via Wikimedia Commons

Trippy image via Public Domain Pictures

Puzzle image via Good Free Photos

Donut image via Bwog Archives

Trophy image via Wikimedia Commons