In another installment of CU alumni movies, senior staff writer Miyoki Walker watched a ton of Jake Gyllenhaal movies for no reason other than to stare at his pretty face for hours and hours. 

You know him, you love him, you had no idea how to spell his last name before reading this. Yes, I’m talking about former John Jay 5 resident (not fact-checked) Mr. Jake Gyllenhaal. Jake has yet to graduate from Columbia (maybe one day), but he has starred in a shit-ton of movies. Here are some of his most notable films: 

  • Bubble Boy (2001) 

Who would’ve thought this 2-decade-old slapstick comedy with Jake Gyllenhaal walking around in a plastic bubble to avoid germs would be relevant in 2020? In this ridiculous role that probably should’ve gone to Shia Labeouf, Gyllenhaal plays a boy with an ϋber conservative mother and no immune system who runs around the country in a bubble to stop the girl he loves from getting married. Yes, it’s as absurd as it sounds.

If you have an absolute need to see Gyllenhaal with spikey-gelled hair then this is the movie for you. There’s cults, mud fights, and Jake’s gorgeously threaded eyebrows. Even with its flaws (devoid of any message, not enough Danny Trejo), it’s an endearing watch and if you saw it as a kid, it’s probably still one of your favorites today.

  • Brokeback Mountain (2005) 

One of the most painful moments in Hollywood history is Crash winning the Academy Award for best picture in 2006 over this. Of course, I was only 5 and have no memory of the event, but it’s still upsetting. In this movie, Gyllenhaal and Heath Ledger play cowboys Jack Twist and Ennis Del Mar who get jobs herding sheep together in the Wyoming mountains one summer and unexpectedly fall in love in the process. Over the course of their lives they both get married (Anne Hathaway and Michelle Williams play their wives), have children, and move jobs, but always come back to Brokeback Mountain. 

This is a poignant look at repression and longing, rife with moving performances. It is a devastating movie, the devastation of which is only compounded by the loss of Heath Ledger. If you have the time, this is a must-watch. Just be prepared to cry over the symbolism of the mountains and lines like “I wish I knew how to quit you.” 

  • Love & Other Drugs 

Another Gyllenhaal/Hathaway pairing! I understand that there may be more worthy JG movies to cover, but I felt that showcasing a variety of genres was important. Also, I love rom-coms. In this movie, Gyllenhaal plays a capitalist player and pharmaceutical rep who falls in love with Anne Hathaway, an artist with Parkinson’s. The plot is basically that he wants to make money, but caring about other people gets in the way. Corny at times? Yes. Mediocre overall? Yes. Did I buy overalls solely with Anne Hathaway in this movie in mind? Absolutely.


If you are a rom-com enthusiast like myself then there’s no reason you haven’t already seen this one. I like it generally but on the second watch, I realized just how evil Gyllenhaal’s character is. Also, I’m angry at Judy Greer getting sidelined again. Anne Hathaway’s hair looks great though! 

  • Okja (2017)

For all Bong Joon Ho fans, this one’s for you. In this movie, a girl named Mija (Seo-hyun Ahn) takes on the powerful “environmentalist” Mirando corporation after her hippo-pig creature wins their contest and is sent to New York to be slaughtered. The movie features anarchist environmentalists, the highest voice you’ve ever heard Jake Gyllenhaal use, and the cutest fake-CGI animal you’ve ever seen (you can choke, Baby Yoda). 

The combination of dark humor and childhood adventure with Bong Joon Ho’s signature anticapitalist themes makes this one of the most colorful, and underrated movies I’ve ever seen. Tilda Swinton is perfectly unhinged, Paul Dano is kind of hot (?????), and Gyllenhaal plays Steve Irwin’s tethered. Also, Woo-sik Choi, the son from Parasite, plays a small role! The movie is a Netflix original so you have no excuse not to watch (unless you don’t have Netflix in which case…p*racy works too). 

  • Prisoners (2013)

Some would say the definitive pick for a Gyllenhaal crime drama is 2007’s Zodiac and I respect that! But it ain’t me. In this superior movie, two little girls are abducted on Thanksgiving after playing on an unknown RV and one of their fathers (Hugh Jackman) will stop at nothing to punish the man who took them. Gyllenhaal plays the slick-haired, twitchy-eyed detective in charge of the case. Dare I say it…this is Gyllenhaal’s best role to date and it’s in one of the best movies of the last decade. It’s chilling and unflinching and it deserves to be talked about more. No, it’s not as tight as a David Fincher movie but you can see what’s happening on the screen. With Denis Villeneuve directing and Roger Deakins on cinematography, how could you not watch? They never miss!!!

 

And that’s it for Jake Gyllenhaal! We love you, Jake. Please come back to us.

Pic via Flickr Creative Commons