0 CommentsIn the last installment of CU Alumni Movies, Bwogger Miyoki Walker has decided to cover the heartthrob of the moment, the final boss of Columbia Alumni: Timothée Chalamet.
Just seven years ago, Timothée Chalamet was a Cultural Anthropology major in CC getting peoplehopped by Bwog. Today he is still a frail, Victorian orphan looking ghost, but now he’s Oscar-nominated. Oh, how times change! Here’s a quick rundown of some of his movies:
- Call Me By Your Name (2017)
“Call me by your name and I’ll call you by mine.” In this movie, Chalamet plays Elio, a 17-year-old boy living in Northern Italy who falls in love with his father’s research assistant, Oliver (Armie Hammer). There’s longing gazes, frustrated sighs, and some fun ‘80s music. Oh, Chalamet also fucks a peach.
My feelings about this movie are…difficult to parse out. For me, the imbalance in maturity between Elio and Oliver is disconcerting (Elio’s parents literally read him fairytales), and the movie seems to hide its hollowness behind pretty Italian landscapes. That said, I enjoyed it and a lot of people love and feel validated by it, which I can respect. The ending with Michael Stuhlberg’s speech and Timothée crying by the fireplace as “Visions of Gideon” plays would make anyone cry. Also, it gave us Armie Hammer dancing, so I can almost forgive its flaws. I just wish he would’ve eaten the peach.
- Lady Bird (2017)
For anyone looking for a documentary about former first lady Claudia “Lady Bird” Johnson, this is not it. Lady Bird follows high school senior Lady Bird (yes, it is the TITULAR ROLE), played by Saoirse Ronan. Lady Bird is desperate to live a more exciting life than the dull, provincial one she has in Sacramento, but her mother won’t allow it. She decides then to take matters into her own hands by joining theater, dating, and setting her sights on NYU (spoiler, she gets rejected from Columbia).
Like many women on Columbia/Barnard’s campus…I too have seen Lady Bird more times than I can count. On the first watch, I did not necessarily connect to it in the way that other people do as I am not white, I do not have Catholic school experience, and I am not middle class enough to think Lady Bird’s house is on the “wrong side of the tracks.” However, on my many watches afterward, I learned to love it. The writing is endlessly quotable, Ronan is great, and Chalamet as Kyle, the anticapitalist bad-boy love interest, is his funniest role to date. I strongly doubt you haven’t seen this already if you’re reading this article but if not, please do.
- Miss Stevens (2016)
Remember Lohanthony? Well, he stars in this movie about a teacher chaperoning a few high schoolers on their way to a state drama competition (who knew that was a thing?), all while coming to terms with her adult-ness. Along with Lily Rabe, Lili Reinhart, and Anthony Quintal, Chalamet plays the struggling actor, Billy, who forms a crush on Rabe. You’ve likely already seen this after scrolling mindlessly through the Netflix indie section in 2016 and being curious about Lohanthony’s acting skills or you were a Timmy stan since Interstellar to which I say…get a job.
This is a perfectly okay movie. Rabe is great as usual and Chalamet really shows his acting chops, even though he knew a total of 30 people max would end up seeing it. It’s a strong directorial debut from Julia Hart (she also directed 2018’s Fast Color which you should watch), but it’s a bit boring for my taste. If you’re in the mood to be sad for a little, this is a good option!
- The King (2019)
I know you’ve been waiting for a movie adaptation loosely based on Shakespeare’s Henriad! Wait, you haven’t? Just me then? In this movie, Chalamet plays King Henry V, previously known as Hal. After wasting his days away with alcohol and sex, Hal must take his tyrant father’s place on the English throne after his brother’s passing. What follows is violence, betrayal, and a scene with Robert Pattinson talking about Chalamet’s tiny balls.
Historians and Chalamet stans alike would agree this movie is not great. Chalamet takes himself much too seriously and it is a million years long (110 minutes to be exact). For me, however, the absurd scenes with the Dauphin (Pattinson) that seem to belong in a different movie entirely make this a must-watch. After all of the buildup surrounding Chalamet and Pattinson’s final battle (spoiler alert), Pattinson trips and flails around in the mud for a full five minutes. Seriously, if you don’t want to watch the entire movie, at least look up that scene. Having said that, I’m simply not obsessed with this movie!
- Little Women (2019)
Oh to have lovely small feet…the best in the family. Like Lady Bird, I’m sure you’ve all seen this. Still, here’s a quick rundown: Little Women, as the title suggests, is based on Louisa May Alcott’s 1868 novel in which Jo March, a strong-minded and independent writer determined to live by her own rules, reflects on the lives of herself and her three sisters. Her sisters, Meg, Amy, and Beth are played by Emma Watson, Florence Pugh, and Eliza Scanlen while Chalamet plays Laurie, the girls’ rich and charming next-door neighbor.
I’ll admit it, the moment Chalamet walked across the screen as Laurie, I, along with the rest of the theater on Christmas day, audibly gasped. He fits the role perfectly, although I can’t say for sure whether he’s better than Christian Bale in the 1994 version. That aside, this is a good movie! It’s such a heartwarming and sincere take on the story and, if your eyes can detect the difference between sepia and blue tones, you won’t have an issue distinguishing the timelines. Watch it this weekend and cry.
- Bonus: that video of Timothée rapping Nicki Minaj’s “Roman Holiday”
Talented, brilliant, incredible, amazing, show-stopping, spectacular, never the same, totally unique, completely not ever been done before.
And that’s all for Timothée Chalamet! Personally I’d like to see Timothée branch out and do a buddy-cop comedy with Tiffany Haddish, but he won’t answer my emails. Good luck winning that Oscar you speak of, bitch!
Photo via Wikimedia Commons
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