Find your inner amphibian.

With monsoon season in the rear view mirror, Columbia students face the challenge of remaining hydrated after Thanksgiving Break. Generations of Columbians have found themselves in our predicament: should one drink much water after Thanksgiving Break or forgo the beverage and feel thirsty most of the time?

Phillip Davidson Peters CC ’32, speaking of the Post Thanksgiving Break Inter Glacial Period, famously remarked, “Oh, yes, I am quite parched.”

Fortunately for us, our predecessors discovered and left behind the secrets necessary to remain hydrated through the end of Fall Semester. I have provided some of their sage advice below.

  • Hydration is more than a game.

1.

Throw away anything that does not spark osmosis.

2.

Water may be found in dried up wells.

3.

Never pass up an opportunity to go to the lake.

  • Discover the lake.

4.

Use flash floods as an opportunity to refill your CamelBak.

5.

Drink skim water, not 2%.

6.

Water, water, wa-

Hydration nation station

Soda, not for me.

  • Avengers 9: Infinity Pool

7.

Consider your options.

8.

Man survived for thousands of years without water. Remember that in dire circumstances you can do the same.

  • This pitcher has over 30 horse power.

9.

Adults should drink more water than their kids.

10.

Irrigate your lifestyle.

If Stonehenge Were Disorganized, Made Of Small Rocks, And Under Water via Wikimedia Commons

The Mysteries Of Waters via Wikimedia Commons

Lake Effect 4: Revenge of Taiga via Wikimedia Commons

Pool And View via Wikimedia Commons

Agua And Its Containers via Wikimedia Commons