These simulation elves are burnt out and making some mistakes this week.

As finals approach, this week has been stressful enough to tear a hole in the simulation. Those little worker elves who create the simulation must be just as burnt out as I am because there have been some definite defects. For proof, here is a list of all the glitches in the simulation I have personally experienced on Barnumbia campus this week. 

1. I was at Hewitt the other day and I went to throw out my trash like a responsible citizen when I was stopped by a worker with my hand inches from the bin. He asked for my trash, so I assumed I was doing something wrong and gave it to him. Then he proceeded to throw away the trash in the bin my hand had just been hovering over. 
2. I was sitting on the first floor of Barnard Hall the other day, eating soup, when I overheard a girl go up to the help desk asking where she could find her charging cord that she left in the library. Her exact words were “I left my charger in the library and it’s not there anymore.” A normal enough request, but then she revealed that she had left it there upwards of a year ago. The simulation elves clearly don’t understand how the lost and found works for this interaction to take place. 
3. On a similar note, the other day I witnessed a girl walking back and forth between Milstein and Diana, looking lost. When I walked out of Milstein, she approached me and asked how to get out of Barnard. Take one left or one right homie. 
4. There was a dog at Riverside park that I swear to God had human eyes and looked into my soul. 
5. This morning I found an expiration date on my naked butt, so if I spontaneously expire in August of 2022 the simulation elves have decided that I know too much. 

Entrance to the simulation via Bwarchives