The Blue Man Group

Committee Notes: Would be renamed the Pantone 292 Man Group for the performance. Also, face paint would be Columbia blue.

Dolly Parton

Committee Notes: Icon.

Beethoven

Committee Notes: Music Hum Department made a special request for Beethoven to headline.

BTS

Committee Notes: We think this is the K-POP group but could also be the Barnard Theater Society. Regardless, stan Jungkook.

The Barden Bellas from Pitch Perfect

Committee Notes: Incredibly busy schedule, but would give students a complementary vessel for the cup song.

The Kingsmen

Committee Notes: Who doesn’t love a nice powder blue jacket?

The Kingsmen but they are all 5 inches shorter

Committee Notes: hehe.

Hannah Montana

Committee Notes: Healing Barnumbia’s inner child.

The Christian Guitar Group on College Walk

Committee Notes: Believe in the vision…and Christ!

The Beatles

Committee Notes: Stream “Love Me Do.”

Fifth Harmony

Committee Notes: Beware: There will be several “Work from Home” allusions at graduation this year.

The Varsity Show Cast 

Committee Notes: These theater kids are actually paying the Bacchanal committee to perform.

The Hex Girls 

Committee Notes: Shoutout to Barnard gals this one is for you.

Pentatonix

Committee Notes: Evolution of Music is the official Music Hum department study guide.

The Small Potatoes

Committee Notes: Could be ahead of the trend of using children’s songs for hyperpop.

Austin Mahone

Committee Notes: There’s no way I could make it without ya Do it without ya

James Charles

Committee Notes: Must be under 18 to attend the performance, artist’s policy.

Louisa Melcher

Committee Notes: Her New York Summer Tour might not have room in the schedule. But perfect for when you’re fighting in the grocery store.

Raini Rodriguez

Committee Notes: Singing various remixes of “Living Your Dreams.”

Fergie

Committee Notes: Giving the show-stopping, infamous performance of “The Star Spangled Banner” for two hours on repeat, except every time it gets 0.2 seconds slower. 

Björk

Committee Notes: Only quotes from various red carpet interviews.

Yodeling Boy from Walmart (Mr. Mason Ramsey)

Committee Notes: Perfect for their planned Blue-Grass Bacchanal rebrand for 2023.

Team 10, but only the verse in Spanish by the Twins

Committee Notes: Fulfills foreign language requirement.

The Michael Jackson hologram that went on a world tour

Committee Notes: Only have to pay for electricity, no food or water necessary.

A Big Screen Projecting Bacchanal 2021 on loop…it’s like Vibrella but in real life 

Committee Notes: Highly considered, especially because of the facilities upcharge in hosting on campus. 

One Direction

Committee Notes: Can we get them to reunite, only for us?

Jake Gyllenhaal’s high school band Holeshot

Committee Notes: Hopeful, especially to support a Columbia Alumnus.

Avril Lavigne

Committee Notes: Unsure if this is the original Avril Lavigne or a clone. 

Susan Boyle

Committee Notes: Slay.  

Lin Manuel Miranda & the Original Broadway Cast of Hamilton 

Committee Notes: Includes a relocation of Bacchanal to Hamilton Hall.

5 Seconds of Summer

Committee Notes: For the 5SOS Fam!

Coolio 

Committee Notes: To perform “Gangsta’s Paradise” over and over.

Various ASMR Artists

Committee Notes: The most tingley Bacchanal ever.

The Smiths

Committee Notes: For the male manipulators CC men.

Sex Bob-Omb

Committee Notes: Here to make you think about death and get sad and stuff!

The Cantina Band from Star Wars

Committee Notes: Admin’s choice to soft launch galactic core requirement.

The Cast of In the Heights

Committee Notes: “Don’t make me laugh, I’ve been trying all night. You’ve been shaking your ass for like half of [Morningside] Heights.”

Tupac

Committee Notes: He’s alive and works on Columbia staff.

Your ex-boyfriend and his acoustic guitar :///

Committee Notes: Accompanied by your other manipulative ex boyfriend and his ukulele.

Your Depression Playlist On Shuffle

Committee Notes: The only way we can get Mitski and Taylor Swift and the Grey’s Anatomy Soundtrack to perform together, slowed with reverb.

The One Campus Stand Up Comedian 

Committee Notes: y’know, the one that made you feel second-hand embarrassment.

Charli D’Amelio

Committee Notes: Might be able to make a gab_nyc collab.

The Sexy Angelina Jolie fish from Shark Tales

Committee Notes: Raises suspicion about whether or not there is a furry on Bacchanal board. 

4-Town from Turning Red

Committee Notes: I’m gonna go panda, fr.

The Wiggles

Committee Notes: Playing “Fruit Salad Yummy Yummy!” Supported by Hewitt’s Dining Philosophy.

The Partridge Family

Committee Notes: Wearing their original 70s clothing.

You

Committee Notes: Hope you’ve practiced your scales!

Sky Ferreira 

Committee Notes: Debuting her new album hahahahahahaha……… :/.

The guy who sings/raps in your floor bathroom while showering, always at the same time that you brush your teeth

Committee Notes: Surprisingly has a good voice! Rock on, man! 

Creedence Clearwater Revival

Committee Notes: Have you ever seen the rain? Because Prezbo has not.

Radiohead

Committee Notes: For the creeps and for the weirdos.

Animusic

Committee Notes: Remember those trippy music marble videos you watched in elementary school? That, but live!

Your loud upstairs neighbor

Committee Notes: The tap shoes stay on during the performances.

Little Mix

Committee Notes: Just Jesy Nelson doing her “Jamaican accent”.

Phoebe Bridgers AND Mitski. 

Committee Notes: All Barnard girlies pass out immediately, big day for lesbians.

The National Anthem 

Note: On loop, also an opera rendition.

The Acapella groups on campus that you totally know about

Committee Notes: Of course I know the—looks at smudged writing on hand—the Coda Breakers?

Boys Who Cry

Committee Notes: Student Body’s choice, apparently.

Hildegard von Bingen:

Committee Notes: Apparently the artist furthest along in serious talks with Bacchanal. Leaked poster attached below.