These definitely do NOT resemble any favorite childhood breakfast treats.

If you’ve been to Westside Market in the past month, you’ve either been tempted, deeply disturbed, or successfully seduced by these protein-packed “Tasty Pastries.” The promise is two-fold: 20g of protein (40 percent of your daily value for you protein freaks) in the medium of a vaguely familiar, Pop-Tartian pastry. We here at Bwog are both protein fiends and really loose with cash, so we knew we had to fork over the $3.99 to try out this new protein-delivery mechanism.

Was it worth the cost?

No, not really.

Our first disappointment was that there was only one pastry, not two. What the fuck. We had to split it in half and share. Now we’re only getting 10g of protein each (we’re going to lose our gains).

Was it better than a normal Pop-Tart?

Nope. Slightly worse. The pastry was slightly chewy, rubbery, and way too thick for the meager portion of filling. The flavor was mild, but the filling was distributed unevenly, meaning some bites had none at all. It’s almost like Columbia Dining made their own Pop-Tarts: not terrible, but nothing to get excited about.

Is it a good protein product?

Yes, actually!

As far as protein products go, this one is surprisingly not overtly repulsive. It doesn’t have that grainy, sandy je ne sais quoi texture that one normally expects to find in a protein treat. So, at the very least, it has that going for it.

If you’re willing to spend nearly four smackers for 40 percent of your daily protein, go for it. Otherwise, just get a normal Pop-Tart.

Stunning product photography via Bwog Staff