Columbia-staple Oren’s Coffee recently added a new drink to their menu, but is it any good?

Now for just $4.93 (according to the statement on my banking app) you, yes you, can get a 16 ounce cup of lukewarm apple juice! There. I said it. There is no god damn difference. Apple cider and apple juice are the same thing, and I’m tired of pretending they’re not. The only possible variation is that sometimes, and only sometimes, apple juice is filtered, going from cloudy to clear, but there very much still exists plenty of cloudy apple juice, such as the apple juice I grew up drinking from Whole Foods before it was purchased by Lex Luthor if he was a divorcée. Even Martinelli’s admits that they don’t distinguish between apple “cider” and juice:

Additionally, what some people call apple cider is referred to as hard cider in the US, which is apple juice that’s been fermented to become alcoholic and often carbonated. Some refer to the distinction being apple juice is cold whereas apple cider is spiced and warm, but there’s a word we use to describe this: mulled. But I digress, here’s your actual drink review:

$5 for 16 ounces of mulled apple juice is a mid deal. I couldn’t help but feel like if I just bought the apple juice and spices myself, it’d be cheaper, and actually be hot. In their defense, it was a decently cold day when I bought it, but that doesn’t stop my disappointment at a lukewarm cup of apple juice that could’ve been a warm delight.

If you can, I’d stick to making your own apple-flavored drink where you can control for all sorts of things. A fall classic in my house was always four parts apple juice to one part cranberry juice, with an orange and/or lemon twist and rim, cinnamon, nutmeg, cloves, and possibly ginger (all to-taste), all heated up and enjoyed while wrapped up in a blanket.

Apple Drink via Flickr

FAQ via Martinelli’s