SSOL might be bad, but at least it isn’t Ticketmaster.

Given the number of Swifties I know are at this school, some of you must have also been trying to get tickets this week for the upcoming “Eras Tour.” Some of us were probably lucky, some of us probably weren’t, and I’m sure we can all agree that it wasn’t pretty. Here are five things you can do at Columbia that feel like a breeze compared to this week’s Ticketmaster bloodbath.

• Getting to the seventh floor of Hamilton
  • The Hamilton elevator line is nothing compared to the reported 6+ hour digital queue that some fans waited in this week (and at least you always have the option to just take the stairs!).
• Finding a bathroom in Schermerhorn
  • What’s worse—getting to the front of the “Eras Tour” presale line and receiving an error code, or finally finding a bathroom in Schermerhorn and it being for the wrong gender? At least in Schermerhorn, there aren’t around two million other people also trying to find a bathroom at the same time as you.
• Getting into a Global Core
  • Maybe Columbia could start giving out presale codes for students to register for Global Core classes? With boosts for upperclassmen, and whoever buys the most merch from the bookstore? I’m sure everyone would love this system!
• Living in a single as a sophomore
  • Refreshing CUFO throughout Housing Selection and seeing your dream singles disappear feels very similar to watching every seat on the stadium map quickly turn from blue to gray. I wonder if Columbia Housing has ever considered implementing dynamic pricing for room and board?
• Getting tickets to Bacchanal
  • Anyone who tried to get Bacchanal tickets last year could’ve warned Taylor Swift; if AXS couldn’t handle the available 3,000 tickets then, it’s not shocking that Ticketmaster crashed from 3.5 billion system requests!

Image via Wikimedia Commons