Invisible? Missing? Skipping work? Where could the infamous Italian sub-builder be?

It has been just over a year since Mike unveiled his greatest prize. Since the grand opening of Chef Mike’s Sub Shop on January 18, 2022, I have uttered a single question every time I step foot into Uris: where is Chef Mike? I was belittled by this question each time I scanned in, during the time my sandwich was being made, and while I slipped six cookies into my jacket. Week after week, I waited, always wondering what Chef Mike looked like, hoping to see just a glimpse of the supposed campus sandwich aficionado. Why wasn’t he in the trenches with his employees? What else could he be doing?

I set out to find him.

My search took me nearly everywhere on campus. Though I toured rooftops, tunnels, classrooms, the Italian sections of every library, the biohazard labs that his subs might be coming from, I was still Mike-less. Every clue led me back to his sub shop, but he was never there. A year passed, and the hours spent waiting in Uris seemed worthless. He was always a step ahead of me, leaving bits of sausage and bread around campus only to mislead me, to give him something to giggle about. Chef Mike, or Michael, as he is known in some circles, was determined to bring about my failure, and, truth be told, I wasn’t really that keen on seeing him. So, I gave up.

Then, on one fateful day, I walked into Chef Don’s Pizza Pi, ravenous for globs of mozzarella.

At last, after a long year of waiting, he had revealed himself to me in the most unexpected location, encroaching on another Italian’s property.

There he was. Michael DeMartino! At the wrong shop. Why? That’s not my problem.

Michael via CUDining