No, I have never really asked anyone out. Yes, I am a good and reliable source. Stop asking questions.

So, you have a crush on that super hot/mysterious/funny/witty/cool person in your class? Don’t we all! As we’re reaching the semester’s final moments, we’re also running out of opportunities to live out our NYC rom-com fantasies. It’s now or never, folks. So I’ve compiled a foolproof list of ways to ask out that special someone. I say we all put on our big kid pants and tell people how we feel!

  1. Pass a note. Pass a note in a cool way. Make it quirky and endearing, not pathetic and embarrassing. You can go with the classic “Do you like me? Yes or no?” or you can write something much more personal and sweet if you have already established a friendly relationship. For best results be sure to include doodles all over. I’m talking hearts, stars, and little cats. This part is crucial.
  2. Not a note kind of person? Well, you’re braver than me. The next logical step is to ask them for their phone number. But how? I suggest cornering them. Make sure when class is over that you’re quickly following them out of the room. If you’re not at an opportune distance to get their attention, try shouting. “HEY, YOU” works. Quickly following the “HEY, YOU” with a “What’s your number?” usually does the trick.
  3. If shouting at people isn’t your vibe you can always be a normal person and have an open and honest conversation with them. Ignore whatever your professor is trying to teach you and talk to your crush instead!
  4. Try cheesy pick up lines as a way of greeting. My personal favorite is “I’d love to take you to the movies some time but they don’t let you bring your own snacks”. Cartoonishly wink at them.
  5. Tell your professor that you have a crush on your classmate. Hope that your professor is concerningly overinvolved and let them handle it.
  6. If none of the above work, you can venture into the dark arts. Witchcraft, sobbing, staring out the window of the bus pretending that you’re in a music video as a form of manifestation, hacking into the Columbia registration website and forcing your crush to take a class with you again next semester, etc…
  7. Don’t ask them out at all because being vulnerable is overrated.
  8. Don’t ask them out at all because 95% of the fun is in the pining.
  9. Don’t ask them out at all because you don’t really like them. Get real, you’ve just been bored in class all semester.
  10. Finally, you can always send this article to them! Better yet, post this article to your Instagram story and tag them! What better way to tell someone that you like them than by boosting Bwog views—I mean, by giving them a truly insightful and well-thought-out article to read!

Header via Bwarchives