The first major development under incoming Columbia President Minouche Shafik comes as a stunning shock to Columbia’s faculty establishment.
Earlier today, Columbia University announced that former President of the United States Donald J. Trump will be joining the faculty of the School of International and Public Affairs as a Professor of Practice in the spring semester of the 2023-24 academic year.
Former President Trump made his debut on Columbia’s campus to announce his hiring on Wednesday afternoon, riding down the exceedingly long escalator in the Northwest Corner Building leading down from campus level to Joe Coffee, evoking images of his presidential campaign announcement in 2015. (Eyewitnesses say that the disgraced former president then approached the counter at Joe Coffee and, somewhat perplexingly, requested a McRib, remarking “they don’t make them like they did anymore!” after being rebuffed by the confused baristas.)
Columbia did not immediately announce the courses that former President Trump will be teaching in his first semester at Columbia, but Bwog has obtained a list of courses, pending administrative approval, that have been tapped for the former president, including “Theories of Leadership and Organization”, “Electoral Integrity in American History”, and “Intro to Media Studies”.
Additionally, former President Trump will serve as an adjunct professor in Columbia College, where he will instruct CC students in Core Curriculum classes such as Literature Humanities and Contemporary Civilization. The former president was overheard telling colleagues that “you gotta love the classics” and “quite frankly, nobody has read the classics as much, as well as me, as I have, and well, you see, I call them the classics because they’re, and I always say it, the best! And, you know, they’re quite good, as they tell me.”
Furthermore, former President Trump disclosed to Bwog, in the form of a secure, encrypted TruthSocial post, that as a condition of his hiring, the Thomas J. Watson Library of Business and Economics in Uris Hall would be renamed the Donald J. Trump Presidential Library (seemingly putting a stop to an unofficial initiative to raise money to establish a presidential library for the former president in his home state of Florida), and that Uris Hall as a whole, in fact, would be renamed to Trump Tower 2.
Columbia University declined to comment further on the matter of the former television star’s hiring. Bwog reached out to former President Trump for comment, but was told he had already used his one phone call out of jail. Bwog also reached out to former Secretary of State and current Columbia professor Hillary Clinton, who famously opposed former President Trump in the 2016 presidential election. Professor Clinton did not answer our request for a comment, though eyewitnesses outside her office heard what they described to Bwog as the former secretary of state “screaming into a pillow” not long after the university announces the news of the hiring. Bwog will continue to follow this story as it develops.
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