Columbia University’s Department of Medical Humanities and Ethics held their April Narrative Medicine Rounds with acclaimed critic and writer Lucy Sante, author of “I Heard Her Call My Name: A Memoir of Transition.”

This April, Lucy Sante visited Columbia University to talk about her transition at the age of 67.  Every month, Columbia Irving Medical Center’s Department of Medical Humanities and Ethics hosts monthly Narrative Medicine Rounds, which aim to help physicians understand their patients with an emphasis on inclusion and justice. Sante is an award-winning Belgian-American writer and retired Bard College faculty member. Her most recent 2024 memoir, I Heard Her Call My Name, details the trajectory of her life as she grappled with her gender identity and subsequent transition later in her life. The book bounces back and forth between detailing the six months of her transition process and the previous 60 years of her life leading up to the decision. With these recounts, she weaves in descriptions of her childhood experiences including her immigration from Belgium and high school education at a Jesuit high school in Manhattan. The event was hosted by Jae Sevelius, Ph.D. (they/them), a Professor of Medical Psychology at Columbia University, a Clinical Psychologist, and a Research Scientist at New York State Psychiatric Institute.

Sante began by describing the process of writing her most recent book. She detailed that, unlike some of her other works that took several years to draft, I Heard Her Call My Name took a mere few months to complete.

Following her introduction, she began to read an excerpt from her memoir which detailed certain childhood experiences with her gender identity. The passage described Sante’s experience of not being able to explicitly label when her first idea of womanhood initially took hold, but rather it was instead a compulsion throughout her life. The excerpt also included details of her gender-based experiences with her parents: she did not recall any conspicuous pushes from her parents in the masculine direction. In particular, when describing her relationship with her mother, Sante writes, “I might just as well have been her daughter.”

Sante then explained her particular experience as a child of isolated French-speaking Belgian immigrants in the early 1960s. She attributed a large portion of her lack of exposure to other transgender individuals to the fact that, with no exposure to the internet until the 1990s, Sante believed that she was “the only person in the world for whom this had ever happened.” 

A particular detail of her journey that Sante highlighted was why she felt as if she had to keep her internal identity secret for a large portion of her life. She described that it was partially for the society of the time, her professional ambitions, and the fact that she was attracted to women. For the latter reasoning, she cited twentieth-century sexologist Harry Benjamin’s directives of gender switching, which required that transgender patients be attracted to the opposite sex once they transitioned. Sante emphasized that this factor was a concept within her identity that she could not understand, as Benjamin’s scientific conditions still maintained a heterosexual route. 

Sevelius and Sante then discussed the role of technology in Sante’s identity journey. Throughout much of her life, Sante’s understanding of the transgender community was scarce, partially due to her lack of exposure to the internet. In the 70s and 80s, Sante held the impression that individuals who wanted to switch genders were a scattered group of people who were entirely different from her, and until she went online at the age of 43, Sante had no understanding of how hormones worked. More recently and as a notable part of her journey, Sante highlights the “token” that allowed her to see herself in a new light was FaceApp: an AI platform that allows users to modify their appearance. Sante described that, after initially utilizing the app to see herself as a woman with one image, she passed every photo that she had of herself through the app. She attributes this moment to helping her “build a panorama of [herself] as a woman through visual aids.” With this app, Sante saw a visual representation of her identity she had solely felt internally, which was thus further spurred with visible evidence. 

In addition to discussing Sante’s own experiences with her transition and engagement with the transgender community, the event also shone a light on the broader power of storytelling. For one, she emphasized that the more individuals who share their journeys with their gender identity, the more other people in a similar situation will feel included. Sante emphasized that no one story is the same, but “the difference among us all is what makes us feel at home.” Further, the talk helped place Sante’s life into a broader context of how medical practitioners can best support their patients in their journey. Sante emphasized her appreciation for all her medical support, sympathy, and understanding from therapy to hormone prescription, and explained, “It’s been a smooth ride, and I can’t tell you how grateful I am.” This support, as she underscored, is not always a given for patients. Recently, there has been an influx of anti-trans legislation that alienates and aims to delegitimize transgender rights in the United States, and in nations such as England, it can take years for transgender individuals to make it to the top of waiting lists to secure appropriate medical attention including consultations and hormones. 

With personal insights and details about her latest book and personal story, Lucy Sante provided this month’s Narrative Medicine Rounds attendees with an in-depth look at how she navigated her transition. The event shone a light on the importance of hearing transgender voices within the health sphere, from embracing the power of technology to foster community to the importance of sympathy within the medical world.

Columbia University Medical Center via Wikimedia Commons