Sofia reminds us to invest in a good mattress topper and to beware of JJs.

Name, School, Major, Hometown: Sofia DeSanto, Barnard College, English Major (Creative Writing
Concentration) Theatre Minor, Birmingham, MI

Claim to fame: If you have seen theatre on campus, I was most likely in that show you saw… Or your
RA… Or your Writing Fellow… Or on your radio… Or asking to hold your hand…

Where are you going? Your mom’s house. Next question.

What are three things you learned at Columbia and would like to share with the Class of
2028?

1. A GOOD QUALITY MATTRESS TOPPER IS SOMETHING YOU MUST INVEST IN!
2. Friendships should feel fun and supportive. The second one of those things gives, the
   friendship gives, and that is okay. Sometimes we outgrow our friendships and sometimes they
   grow with us and it’s our job to decipher which of those is good for us.
3. If a syllabus of a class is interesting AT ALL to you, do the readings. It is worth it. If the
   readings are not interesting AT ALL to you, you can FOR SURE get away with not doing
   them all. Skimming is a beautiful thing.
4. JJs will always feel like the right thing to do until it does not. Know your body before a
   quesadilla makes it turn inside out…
5. If you feel horrible and like you hate this school and like everything is crashing, take the train
   anywhere away from campus. Remember you are in New York. The whole city has its arms out
   for you if you embrace it.

“Back in my day…”

• WARNING CORNY COVID COMPLAINT NSOP was online…
• We had Peet’s in the library.
• Millie the Bear was a much more active member of campus.
• Diana had a make-your-own sandwich station that was SO MUCH better than Chef Mike’s
  (sorry Mike I still love you, you know she walked so you could run king…)

Favorite Columbia lore? Professor lore. Like when you go full culpa, google, ratemyprofessor, Wikipedia, etc. on those jawns. Also, the building that was an old-timey asylum.

What was your favorite class at Columbia?

• Reacting to the Past with Mark Carnes
• Leaving Home FYW with Benjamin Breyer
• Intro to Fiction Writing with Zaina Arafat
• The Renaissance English Colloquium with Rachel Eisendrath
• Postcolonial Drama with Shayoni Mitra
• Exophonic Women with Jhumpa Lahiri

Would you rather give up oral sex or cheese? SORRY I CAN’T TALK RIGHT NOW MY MOM IS CALLING HOLD UP!!!!!!!!

Whom would you like to thank?

My wonderful, amazing, talented, funny friends, my 2.5-inch mattress topper, my
multi-colored shag rug, the crocheted flowers in a stolen tiki-chick mermaid mug on my
bedside table, anyone who has ever read my lines with me, my mom, my dad (sometimes), and
most of all, my Bebe.

One thing to do before graduating?

Go to Rockaway Beach early on. Like maybe September freshman year when assignments are
still unassigned. Go with people you don’t know very well. Bring a little flask filled with rum
and coke. Take the ferry. Chase each other to the waves. RETREAT IT IS SO COLD WTF.
Lay on the sand. Listen to the Beach Boys. Buy burritos and fro-yo and watch the moon pass
you by on the ferry ride home.

Any regrets? I regret not putting myself first in various situations. Also, not savoring my last Chef Mike’s
build-your-own sub. But other than that, I am regretless, baby.

Sofia via Sofia