New room, new roommate, new opportunities to question your sanity. Here’s how to survive:

No matter how gracious you think you are, living with another person is bound to ruffle a few feathers. Let’s see if we can avoid those RA mediation sessions and try a little thing called self-reflection.

While you may think some of these are givens, you’d be surprised by the sheer audacity of others. Just remember: it might bring you to tears now, but one day, you’ll be laughing about the time your roommate stole your underwear. That brings me to my first item on our list:

  1. Do not STEAL your roommate’s belongings.

I understand admiring from afar and perhaps gathering some inspiration for your wishlist, but that does not justify taking your roommate’s belongings for a speed run. You may think it’s just a squirt of toothpaste, but tomorrow it’s their clothes, and, yes, unfortunately, even their underwear. Because really, where do you draw the line? Before you know it, you’ve developed habits that rival Swiper the Fox. Save yourself the embarrassment of being confronted while wearing their top, and try to remember Swiper, no swiping!

  1. Be CONSIDERATE 

Ultimately this one can take many forms. Maybe it’s bringing your roommate a dessert from Ferris when they’re sick, turning off the light when they fall asleep, or remembering that headphones exist for a reason. I am sad to report that these are not considered the bare minimum. However, if you take anything away from this section, let it be my next statement. The most considerate thing you can do as a roommate is giving a friendly heads-up when you have a friend over. Please spare them the eyeful of that particular moment. Trust me, no introduction can save a first impression like that.

  1. Do not BREAK their stuff

Obviously, accidents happen, but when they become a pattern, it’s time to reevaluate. Breaking a bowl in your shared kitchen is excusable, mutating the cap on their shampoo bottle is accidental, but killing their beloved plant? At some point, it starts appearing deliberate. Let’s take all that pent-up, bottled-up aggression to a rage room and work through some things, shall we?

  1. Understand it’s a SHARED space 

Living with another person means accepting that you no longer have sole control over the space. This means being mindful of how your actions affect the person on the other side of the room. So, to start off strong, let’s cut back on the naked yoga. Unfortunately, this request is rooted in lived experience. And yes, I walked in on downward dog. Some things you simply cannot unsee. If you must embrace your inner nudist, at least save it for a weekend when your roommate is away.

  1. Do not SLEEP in their bed

While this one may throw some of you off, unfortunately, yes it does happen. I understand coming home late after a few too many Amity concoctions, but it’s vital for you to lock in and correctly distinguish between your bed and theirs. If necessary, set up a visual aid before going out to give yourself a clue upon your return. What may seem absurd now, will save you from a very awkward morning later.

Those are my insider roommate tips and tricks. Follow them accordingly, and you’re in for a wonderful year of living in total harmony. If you’re still having problems, I fear you may, in fact, be the problem.

Image via Bwarchives