Shoutout to Harry Styles.

Name, School, Major, Hometown: Ava Roberts, English & Business Management, New York

Claim to fame: Lyricist for the Varsity Show, writer of that Harry Styles musical you heard
about in passing, music deputy editor for Spec except I only reported on Lowlapalooza, the
sorority president that made you go—“wait, you’re in a sorority?,” throwing a Groundhog Day
party.

Where are you going? Columbia’s notable alumni section on Wikipedia, I hope.

What are three things you learned at Columbia and would like to share with the Class of
2029?

  1. Internships are cool and all until you’re getting some celebrity vegan cream cheese at
    6 am on a national holiday… Okay, it was still worth it. Put yourselves out there, kids!
  2. You genuinely do not need to major in Econ. Like, if all of your friends jumped off a cliff,
    would you?
  3. Writing a mini musical about the brain instead of taking a final exam gets you an A in Fro
    Sci—work smarter, not harder.

“Back in my day…” A hot bagel from Absolute could momentarily solve all of my problems.

Favorite Columbia lore? Freshman year there was a flash flood and people started rowing
boats made of cardboard and duct tape around campus.

What was your favorite class at Columbia? Art Humanities/Music Humanities at Columbia’s Reid Hall campus in Paris, TV Writing with Dafina Roberts (and she has a cool last name!).

Would you rather give up oral sex or cheese? I’m already vegetarian, might as
well go vegan.

Whom would you like to thank? Jayden, Ariana, Rebecca, Sarah, Emma, Maya, Catherine,
Lovleen, Shivani, Emeline, Karel, Elizabeth, Olivia, Sara, Elan, Violeta, Will, Ria, my parents,
anyone that gave me the chance to write or be involved in the performing arts on this campus,
Richmond B. Williams & Seymour Brick, Harry Styles, the 115th Sweetgreen employees, the
Dear Mama baristas, Alma Mater, my sanity.

One thing to do before graduating? Get out of Butler and touch grass.

Any regrets? I went to a beta party freshman year that was “ski” themed, so they covered the
floor in soap to look like snow. Soap is very slippery. The bruise lasted weeks.

Ava via Ava