Never underestimate course registration.

Name, School, Major, Hometown:

Tatiana Santos Mroczek; Barnard College; Psychology Major; Music Minor; Staten Island, New York. 

Claim to fame:

Made my late-night television debut on NBC. Crowned Miss Staten Island 2022. Sold-out “Tatiana & Friends Sing Broadway Classics” Cabaret at the St. George Theatre VG Lounge. Only first-year in the cast of The Varsity Show (V128). Played Barnard President Sian Beilock in V129, in front of Sian Beilock. Then did a scene with Sian Beilock: me as her, her as my waitress. Sang at Radio City with Bacchantae. Performed Fun Home for its composer, Jeanine Tesori (two Tonys, no pressure). Directed a sci-fi Austin Powers comedy musical, “REDACTED.”

Where are you going?

I was an academic year intern in writing/general production at “The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon” at 30 Rock. Post-grad, I will be Executive Assistant to Black Thought of the Grammy-winning hip-hop group, The Roots, who also happen to be Jimmy Fallon’s house band. If this is a dream, please don’t wake me.

What are three things you learned at Columbia and would like to share with the Class of 2029?

1. Have fun, make memories, but don’t forget your reasons for choosing Columbia. Your degree doesn’t earn itself, and the real world looms. Four years fly by. 
2. Time and energy are finite, so be selective. Don’t force friendships, clubs, or activities that drain you. 
3. Take pictures. One day, you’ll want proof that you simultaneously looked this tired and this hot.

“Back in my day…”

When I started college, ChatGPT didn’t exist, just the crushing weight of originality and an 11:59 p.m. deadline.

Favorite Columbia lore?

In summer 2023, when the “Barbie” and “Oppenheimer” movies were released on the same day, Barnard’s Instagram lit up with pink, sparkles, and Greta Gerwig. Meanwhile, Columbia reminded everyone the Manhattan Project began in the Pupin tunnels. Who would’ve predicted feminism and nuclear warfare would become all the rage?

What was your favorite class at Columbia?

Introduction to Poetry with Brionne “Breezy” Janae. It was intimate, emotional, and creatively intense. You learned people’s deepest traumas by Week 3, then pretended you didn’t know all that when you passed by them in the Ferris pasta line. Beautiful class, but terrible for casual socializing.

Would you rather give up oral sex or cheese?

Maybe both. So I can finally get some work done. 

Whom would you like to thank?

God; My family: Mommy (Dr. Gracelyn Santos), Daddy (Dr. Michael Mroczek), Charista Mroczek, Angelica Mroczek, and Eric Belikin; my good pals: Emma Sullaway, Jasmine Chen, Anja Vasa, Craig Cosentino, and Fanglin Yuan; “The Varsity Show”; Bacchantae; “REDACTED”; “Fun Home”; “Anastasia”; Social Interaction Lab; Columbia Couples Lab; <>; “XMAS!”

One thing to do before graduating?

Get off campus. You’re in the greatest city in the world, and if you don’t take advantage of all it has to offer, you’re paying Ivy League tuition for a glorified college quad with scaffolding. One day, you’ll say, “I went to school in New York,” and someone will ask your favorite NYC spot. And you’ll say, “JJ’s Place?” Don’t be that person.

Any regrets?

Thinking course registration would be chill. It’s not. It’s a blood sport, and it sneaks up on you fast. It’s all fun and games until you’re enrolled in 8:40’s about medieval metallurgy. If you’re going to doom-scroll in class, skip the online shopping and excessive iMessage checking, and use that time to plan out your classes.

Image via Tatiana Mroczek