Sex in the City–a column, a TV show, or both?

Name, School, Major, Hometown: Tristan Espinoza, Columbia College, Political Science, Dallas, Texas

Claim to fame: I created Columbia’s first sex column, Sex in the City, for the Columbia Daily Spectator. 

Where are you going? After graduation, I’m moving to Washington, D.C., where I’ll work for the Aspen Institute’s Center for Native American Youth and obtain my Master of Fine Arts in Creative Writing (Nonfiction) at American University.

What are three things you learned at Columbia and would like to share with the Class of 2029? When I look back on my time at Columbia, I can’t help but remember the painful moments that shaped each year. I often found myself stuck in a cycle of losing and rediscovering who I was—dating men much older than me, all while trying to heal after surviving an assault on campus. Writing a sex column didn’t exactly help my public perception either.  

Yet through it all, three lessons grounded me and brought clarity to my undergraduate experience:

1. Discover your values and build the foundation of who you want to be. Each year, I chose a word to guide my growth in a particular direction. I’ve tried being selfish to rediscover what brings me pleasure, practiced consistency to create structure, and embraced acceptance to make peace with what I could—and couldn’t—change. Now, as I prepare to graduate, I’m reveling in my freedom as I celebrate the beginning of a new chapter. Ask yourself: where would you like to begin?
2. Kim Cattrall once said the secret to her success is saying, “No.” During your time at Columbia, you’ll be faced with countless opportunities you think you can’t pass up—whether for fear of missing out or for the sake of your career. Always remember: the people encouraging you to say yes to every party, lifestyle, or opportunity have their own paths that led them there. Stay grounded in what you want and prioritize your well-being in every decision. You’re only an undergraduate in New York once—but that doesn’t mean you have to say yes to everything. Embrace the power of “no” every so often. It will change your life.
3. The best piece of advice ever given to me came from my guru—and my best friend’s grandmother—Melanie: “Life is truly about reinventing yourself. Don’t be afraid to start over.” Reinvention isn’t failure—it’s freedom. Xx

“Back in my day…” Carrie Bradshaw would never wait for a man, Miranda Hobbes wasn’t gay, and Charlotte York was a progressive liberal. COVID tests—and red or green screens—determined whether you could enter campus buildings. Chef Mike’s had soup, Mel’s had a bar, and 1020 was for perverts. Clubs like The Q NYC and Motel 23 were the absolute epicenter for twinks. NSOP felt like a drunken summer camp without orientation leaders or immersion experiences. Deans actually hung out with students on College Walk. The rugby team was progressive and mainly hot GS students. Student activism was celebrated as the heartbeat of campus. The Nordic Society was the real St. A’s. 

And, most importantly, Columbia had integrity (and funding).

Favorite Columbia lore? That President Bollinger once clicked on an internet scam and is the sole reason we all use Duo Mobile.

What was your favorite class at Columbia? ENGL BC3106: Fiction and Personal Narrative with Professor Alexandra Watson. Her class wasn’t just the first A that I ever received—it’s the reason I’m a writer today.

Would you rather give up oral sex or cheese? I’m lactose intolerant. 

Whom would you like to thank? Beyoncé, Maggie Rogers, Marlowe Granados, Candace Bushnell, RuPaul, Vivian Long, Nika Filippov, Katie McCarthy, Paige Harrison, Juling Wang, Cole Kalenak, Dylan Baca, Derek Borza, Chris Lee, Erik Heitsmith, Justin Haddad, Arnaud Lamy, Sophia Perez, Yasmine Dahlberg, Paalie Kyrkjeboe, Tania Lopez, Arpita Iyer, Tiffany Kim, Amber Smith, Sex and the City, Survivor, Big Little Lies, Every Outfit, Barry’s, Julius’, Pieces Bar, Playhouse, BASEMENT, Levain Bakery, Van Leeuwen Ice Cream, Milano’s Market E11, Koronet Pizza—and my ex-boyfriends.

One thing to do before graduating? Walk from the top to the bottom of Manhattan with your friends. Also, tell everyone at Columbia you thought was hot that you think they’re hot.

Any regrets? I always wanted to start a book club or literary magazine called Columbia’s Studio ’54 (since we were founded in 1754). Free rein to anyone who wants to make it happen!