The mink may be fake, but the music is real.

On March 24th, the Columbia University Bacchanal Instagram account made a life-changing announcement: the headliner for our most major music event of the year is to be a figure known as Fakemink. After weeks of teasing with images of a rodent tail, an orange line, and a deer, the student body was amped up to learn the identity of our mysterious performer. So, upon the name being revealed, many could not help but wonder…

Dear reader, allow me to enlighten you. I, too, pondered such a harrowing line of questioning for days after the headliner announcement. Who is this man? Is there a Realmink? Am I real? Are you?

Let us first begin with an explanation of the clues posted to @cubacchanal. Naturally, the rodent tail is meant to symbolize the mink animal. The orange line is a bit trickier, but be not afraid, it is a reference to his most popular track, a collaboration with rappers EsDeeKid and Rico Ace known as LV Sandals. (LV, meaning Louis Vuitton, incorporates their unique shade of orange as part of their branding, but you knew that.) Finally, the image of the deer alludes to his track Bambi.

The most important thing to establish about Fakemink is that, much like Charli xcx, inside that icon, there’s still a young girl from Essex. Indeed, he is credited as reigniting interest in the UK underground rap scene. You may have heard him but not known you heard him, with familiar viral tracks like Easter Pink. He seems to deliberately remain mysterious and elude definition, with Ones to Watch noting that “[i]f you ask him, he’s not a part of any genre, truly.” On the Fakemink name, he commented to No Bells: “Luxury and dirty—that’s the whole idea behind the name ‘fakemink’ is to contrast. The mink is the luxury part; the fake is the dirty. For example, if it was an outfit, it would be something that is luxury, but it’s dirty.”

Fakemink has performed in the past year alongside Drake and Playboi Carti, explaining how, despite neither my roommate nor I being familiar with the man prior to his headliner announcement, her 14-year-old brother was a huge fan. Fakemink walked the runway for Gucci in February and plans to tour North America and Europe shortly after our humble Bacchanal with a Terrible Beauty . – The Tour. He began making music in 2020 when both he and many of us were 15, but instead of using FL Studio skills learned at the age of 10 to launch a rap career and become Bacchanal’s headline performer, we decided to attend high school like normie losers.

Born Vincenzo Camille to Algerian and Indian Punjabi parents, Fakemink started out life as a Soundcloud rapper known as 9090gate. Shortly before donning the Fakemink persona, he dropped his first album, London’s Saviour, in 2023, claiming to have made the entire thing in only three days. The following year proved prolific, with our young artist releasing over 80 tracks. Mechatok, a collaborator of Fakemink’s on the song MAKKA, said to Dazed: “I was in the studio with Ecco, Mink was working in another room and we bumped into each other in the hallway. When I played him the idea he just went straight to the booth and recorded his whole verse, it was pretty much a one-take kind of thing.”

In January, Fakemink released an EP titled The Boy who cried Terrified ., a “teaser project” for his next album Terrified ., as the artist wrote on Tumblr. Fakemink’s Tumblr presence dates back years, somewhat curious given his earliest Instagram post is only from last September. “Social media is really just a lie; everyone’s just sharing their best highlights,” Fakemink told Dazed writer Solomon Pace-McCarrick. “But, if that’s the case, then I’ll use it to my advantage. I’m going to design how I’m portrayed on social media to the point that I’m a superstar.” Humbly, he claimed, “Sometimes, I really feel like the Eminem of the UK underground, because I’m so much better than these man [sic] and they can’t face it.” Pace-McCarrick characterizes the artist as an awkward but polite Pokémon superfan.

His 2024 No Bells interview also gives a solid impression of his personality, containing such gems as “The reason why I named my album London’s Saviour is because I wanted to claim myself as London’s saviour just to see if anyone would challenge me. I felt London music had to change…. Because it was all trash.” He also asked interviewer Solomon Adams (yes, another Solomon) about his opinion on Alexander McQueen and instructed him to “[w]atch some Alexander McQueen interviews, and you will understand my philosophy. I can’t really explain it ‘cause I’m high.” 

In a similar vein, Fakemink stated in the same interview, “I am smoking right now. I can’t lie; I’ve been smoking everyday for three years. So, it’s just a part of my life, not a part of my recording process.” However, Fakemink drew the line at alcohol: “I don’t like how it makes me feel. Plus, I’m Muslim.” Here, his mind diverges from that of the average Bacchanal attendee. “Every experience I’ve had with it I have not enjoyed,” he continued. “I just do weed, and I occasionally do Xanax.” This was, however, two years ago, and a man can grow and change a great deal in that time. On the subject, Fakemink said in a recent Tumblr post, “I used to rap about drugs when I was 18 but I do not do that shit any more , U do not need drugs for anything . For real .” At time of writing, Fakemink is 21.

Bacchanal’s Instagram recommends attendees familiarize themselves with tracks like Fidelio and Blow Me. Though unlikely to be performed without collaborator Buckshot, this writer personally enjoys Fever, but strongly advises readers against “puttin’ Tris in a Crush two-litre” or indulging in “yay, come fluffy like a bunny.” As we anxiously await the arrival of our angel of 8.3 million monthly Spotify listeners, we can rest easy knowing that he did not, as some may have speculated, spawn into existence mere minutes before his reveal as our headliner.

Header via Fakemink’s Tumblr.

Sidechat screenshot via Author.