Pass these on…

If you see the lights on college walk before tree lighting…

Your first marriage will end in divorce. You weren’t supposed to see them before the ceremony!!

Please stay clothed!

The registrar won’t tell you this, but if you play a performative sport on the lawns without a shirt on, you will automatically have a letter grade deducted on your transcript. Keep spikeball classy!

Taking the elevator up one floor

Everytime someone (who is capable of walking up the stairs) takes the elevator to go to the second floor, Laura Rosenbury fires another Barnard staff member. She fires two people if it’s in Milbank—those elevators are very slow.

Watch out on college walk…

Streets are saying if you walk clockwise around the sundial three times, you won’t graduate. I don’t make the rules guys!!!

DIMLs are deadly

Every time you LARP academia by making a day in my life at Columbia TikTok, you lose seven minutes off your life. Please keep that shit in the drafts!

The Liz’s coffee blessing

Legend says that if someone takes your drink at Liz’s after you’ve been waiting for 10 minutes, you’ll ace your next exam.

Leave the parkas at home

Anyone who wears a puffer jacket before Thanksgiving will be cursed with a semester-long situationship. If it’s Canada Goose, your yacht will sink before the year’s end. Sorry!!!

College Walk via Bwarchives