Will they have you screaming for your life or screaming out their name? Find out through Smash or Pass!

In honor of Halloween, Ferris Reel Film Society treated Columbia students to a series of scary movie screenings, hoping to give audiences a fright. But let’s be honest, Columbia students face something far more terrifying on a daily basis: the dating scene. Which got me thinking, how much play would these iconic horror characters actually get on campus? Let’s find out through my favorite game: Smash or Pass

  1. SMASH

He had me at “high pain tolerance.” Something tells me he isn’t a stranger to a safe word. Judging by those pins, I’m convinced he’d make me use mine long before he’d have to use his. Needless to say those pins aren’t the only thing I’d like him to stick in. While some might find his eyes soulless, I could definitely see myself getting lost in those dark, empty orbs. Unfortunately, I’ve fallen for worse.

2. SMASH

Honestly, with AO3 down, Freddy is starting to look like exactly the kind of fanfiction man I need to fill the void. I mean, talk about being good with your hands! I can think of quite a few ways I’d like to keep those fingers occupied. While some might see a weapon, I see a good time. Someone alert Freddie to look no further, because I volunteer as tribute to keep him company all night long. Who needs beauty sleep anyway? By the looks of him, he certainly doesn’t!

3. SMASH

I’ve never considered myself religious, but for her, I’m more than happy to get on my knees. And no, I’m not talking about praying. Forget the Bible. I’m ready to follow her commandments and worship at her altar. Maybe it’s my mommy issues talking, but personal boundaries? She can cross every single one. Haunt me for eternity, possess my body, whatever gets her attention.

4. PASS

Nothing is scarier than a ginger short king who doesn’t know his place. Although he’s clearly racked up quite the body count, the biggest crime scene is his 2’4″ frame. I fear the knife he’s carrying is probably bigger than certain other proportions. Can someone say double homicide? And how he landed a gig as a hair model is beyond me when his looks like a cheap wig from the local Dollar Tree. Those baby blues aren’t saving you, Good Luck Chuck. Hard Pass.

5. PASS

Annabelle’s questionable taste in fashion is hardly her most concerning quality. I suspect her bedroom behavior is an entirely different beast. She’s absolutely the type to weaponize sex, sinking her teeth into you as a reminder of her status as alpha. Talk about being a bossy bottom. The real horror is that her bite marks rival those of a teething baby hippo rather than the dominatrix she’s so desperate to embody. Let’s keep her in that glass case and perhaps invest in a muzzle while we’re at it.

Thanks, Ferris Reel Film Society, for introducing us to a lineup of characters who have certainly given us plenty to consider! Now it’s your turn to decide in the comments: Smash or Pass?

Images via Bwog Staff