A young freshman, only trying to figure out what’s going on in his life

Dear Bwog,

You answered my question yesterday about my troubles with my roommate, and I tried out some of your suggestions, but they didn’t seem to work.

I woke up early to catch him before he left for class, but he left straight from the bathroom. I came back to the room before lunch, and he quickly turned off some music/chant playing from his laptop (it sounded sorta Nordic but I couldn’t tell the language) before glaring at me. I guess I was disturbing his studying?

I apologized and respectfully asked him about keeping the room clean, just as you said, but all he did was stare at me. I thought he was getting angry, so I apologized for interrupting and said I needed to go get food before class. He just stared at me as I walked out of the room.

I think I’m gonna talk to my RA after class and iron out this issue. I’ll keep Bwog updated if this works out.

Thanks,
Freshmen and confused

Update:
Dear Bwog,

Things are still tense now, though my roommate did clean some of his stuff up. I went to our RA, and he basically told me he would take care of it. I was in the bathroom later when the RA came in, walked into our room, and started talking to my roommate. I don’t think he knew I was in the bathroom, since he left the door to our room partly open.

I didn’t want to eavesdrop (I remembered what you said about respect), but I heard my name and started listening in. All I could hear were aggressive whispers before the RA left and slammed the door. Our RA seemed really personally angry at my roommate, which is weird since they had only met like once before.

When I came back in, my roommate looked really pale. He was cleaning up some of his books so I thought I would help him. I picked up a book, but he snatched it away and said he would handle it.

I came back from Butler later and the room was much nicer, but my roommate kept glaring at me when he thought I wasn’t looking. I guess our RA really chewed him out, so I felt really bad. I think he’s still actually angry at me.

He went to the bathroom a few minutes ago and I noticed he was reading that book he took away from me earlier. I was still curious so I looked at the title. It was called the “Codex Saerus” which – I just looked up, and apparently it’s a book about Satanic rituals?! I’m kinda creeped out now. What should I do?

Worried,
Freshman and Confused

Dear Freshman and Confused,

We’re glad you got your RA involved, although we’re sure he wasn’t angry with your roommate. Regardless, their talk seems to have worked, and we’re glad that your roommate is now keeping his part of the room clean.

Your roommate is probably very stressed right now–which explains his paleness and irascibility–with midterms coming up and the weather changing. It’s also possible he might not be adapting to New York life as quickly as others have. Try to invite him out one night, or ask if he wants to study together one day. He could probably use a helping hand, and you’re in a great position to help him out while also solidifying your friendship.

If he’s reluctant, try to express an interest in his music. Columbia is geographically and ethnically diverse, so you might just have never come into contact with his favorite type of music before. Who knows, you could really end up enjoying it! It’s a great opportunity to pave over some of the speedbumps you’ve had in your relationship while experiencing new things.

As for his readings, he’s probably been assigned that work for a class. Or maybe he’s interested in the history and workings of different belief structures. Strike up a conversation with him and he could really open up about his interests. Remember, it only takes one interested person to really brighten up his day!

Hoping for the best,
Bwog

Freshman in need of assistance via Shutterstock