Alternate opening line: “Tell me about a complicated Bwog.”

Move over, Emily Wilson and/or Richard Lattimore: Bwog is finally ready to uncover our own translation of the Odyssey. It’s a revolutionary version of the ancient poem that is sure to get the literary world talking; not only in its exacting attention to detail, but also the subtle ways in which we update the text for these modern times. Everyone on Bwog pitched in to write this most accurate of translations. The opening lines of this monumental effort, forthcoming from Columbia University Press in July 2018, are below.

Tell me, Muse, of the Bwog of many grapes, who was driven
far journeys, after he had sacked Lerner 510‘s sacred citadel.
Many were they whose pitches he heard, whose minds he learned of,
many the meetings he attended in his spirit on the MoHi campus,
struggling for his own finals and the procrastinating of his companions.
Even so they could not concentrate on Sunday at 9:00 pm, hard though
they strove to; they were destroyed by their own wild recklessness,
fools, who did not come to Bwog’s last Open Meeting of the semester,
and lost the grapes of their homecoming. From some point
here, goddess, daughter of Bwog, speak, and begin our story.

Opening lines via Wikimedia Commons.