It’s the most chaotic time of the year!

Exactly one year ago today, on December 14th, 2022, when I was accepted to Barnard, I immediately started dreaming about the magic of December in New York City. Influenced by movies like Elf and Home Alone 2 told me that the holiday season would be nothing short of magical. Being a winter enthusiast, was ready for all the winter markets, snowfall, festive lights, and the iconic Rockettes. With a love for everything winter—hot chocolate, ice skating, and more—I truly thought that New York City would be the perfect place to spend the winter months.

Now fast-forward to December 2023 and Oh my god. I have never been more overwhelmed in my entire life.

December in New York is not for the faint of heart. You actually need to have so much stamina just to make it 5 blocks through midtown during the holiday season or you might end up getting crushed. I don’t think I have ever seen more people in one space than when my friends and I tried to go to the Rockefeller Christmas Tree Lighting two weeks ago. There were so many people, at one point we even lost my shorter friend and had to come up with our own version of “Marco Polo” in order to find her. On top of that, we didn’t even get to see the Queen of Christmas, Mariah Carey, because they shut down the entrance right when we got to the front because they were way past capacity.

It doesn’t matter if your visit coincides with a major event like the tree lighting or New Year’s Eve ball drop, there is no doubt that you’ll face a sizable crowd wherever you go in NYC during the winter months. Realistically, you have to lose most of your morals and just push and shove your way through the crowd if you want to make it out. Otherwise, I think the crowd would probably just swallow you whole.

From the beginning, I knew that no matter what time of year, New York City has some pretty unique smells. What I didn’t know was how much New Yorkers like the cheese, Raclette. If you don’t know what Raclette is, first and foremost conisider yourself incredibly lucky, and second it is a cheese that is infamous for its smell which can only be described as something that was left to rot in a gym locker full of dirty clothes for a few months. And for some reason, every single winter market that i’ve been to has at least 17 different stands that are dedicated to that death cheese and it absolutely ruins the whole experience for me. Like I actually cannot breathe. So because of that, winter markets are kind of out of the question.

Also where is the snow? I was promised a winter wonderland and have yet to see it. It’s “flurried” twice but that doesn’t count. I was told to look forward to the days when we could go sledding in central park, but as far as I’m aware you can’t sled on bare grass. All I want is to have a snowball fight in central park like Buddy the Elf did. Global warming really is ruining my winter fun.

Finally, I need to have a long hard chat with all of the entrepreneurs in the city because in no world should these extreme costs exist, and they only go up during the touristy months (which seem to be always, but especially the winter months). For example, can someone please tell me why it cost me six whole dollars for HALF of an avocado at one of these winter market. Not even a whole avocado, just HALF.

To sum it up, December in the greatest city in the world (NYC) is far from the picturesque scenes portrayed in movies. I would characterize it by having more odors, larger crowds, a lack of snow, and higher expenses. The least realistic thing about Elf isn’t actually the whole Santa Clause thing (sorry if I just ruined your childhood) but the fact that Buddy can seamlessly function in the city. If Buddy were to experience the actual New York City in December, he’d likely be eager to catch the first sleigh ride back to the North Pole.

Rockefeller Tree via Bwarchives