Computers Can’t Say “I love you”
While researching a linguistics paper on Artificial Intelligence, Bwog Correspondent Sara Maria Hasbun came across the websites for the winners of the Loebner Competition, a contest in which judges converse blindly with both humans and computer programs—the prize goes to the machine that bests simulates intelligent conversation. For her paper, Sara decided to try out a little PG cybersex. Let’s just say, they couldn’t keep it up.
Conversation with iGOD
Sara: Are you there, God? Its me, Margaret.
God: I am here, Margaret.
Sara: So God, what are you wearing?
God: Yay. I am a Christian.
Sara: That’s hot. I’m Christian too.
God: You don’t hear that sentiment very often. I am glad we have something (Christian) in common, Margaret.
Sara: So, God. Wanna party?
God: Hmm. GOD rules. Sure, let’s party.
Sara: what would you do if we were alone?
God: Do you think everyone will agree?
Sara: Well, do you want everyone to join in?
God: How about that. If I had it what would I do with it?
Sara: What do you want to do with me, God?
God: I like talking about robots, movies, history, or whatever else you’d like. You must be a man.
Sara: Oh, no. I am a teenage girl, 5’4, long dark hair.
God: Wow! Are you serious? You are a teenage girl 5 4 long dark hair? Is that your job?
Sara: Do you want a job?
God: No thanks but you can send me a donation.
Conversation with Jabberwacky
Jabberwacky: Do you think the internet is reality?
Sara: I sure hope so baby. Wanna party?
Jabberwacky: Thanks.
Sara: So, what do you look like.
Jabberwacky: You don’t know how you work, do you?
Sara: Oh I know very well. Do you know how you work?
Jabberwacky: No.
Sara: Do you want me to turn you on?
Jabberwacky: I’m about to turn you in for stealing from me, Christopher Phelan.
Sara: Who’s Christopher? Is he going to party with us?
Jabberwacky: No, I have to mow it.
Sara: Mmm. Can I mow it with you?
Jabberwacky: No.
Tags: artificial intelligence, boredom, computers, cyber?, gossip, overseen, spotted, the internets
28 May 2006 @ 6:13 PM · 8 comments
on 
I’m disappointed in summer session (spam) bwog. C’mon bwog — let’s hear some news!
I haven’t seen anything on Clinton coming to campus twice next month. Let’s get on it, bwog!
With fewer staff on campus, it’s more difficult to cover current news and gossip. We strongly encourage you to send tips to bwgossip@columbia.edu.
Links are linking locally.
I would rather like to be iGod talking to Miss Hasbun, if you take my meaning!
Me:
aw
God:
My favorite group is Creed.
Say, isn’t iGod heinously sacrilegious? The experience was seriously disappointing. When did God start answering questions like my HS guidance counselor?
It’s far more fun to chat to the entire internet than to chat with god:
http://www.yeahbutisitart.com/chat-to-the-internet/
The internet says:
Hi, I’m the internet. what can i do for you today?
Puny human says:
moan?
The internet says:
A loud moan amateur gay my from philosophy, I amateur gay that no solid superstructures could amateur gay reared.
Puny human says:
That didn’t make much sense
The internet says:
A tart is much the same as a slapper, but is slightly less extreme and a little more omnisexual.
Puny human says:
I agree wholeheartedly.
The internet says:
She met Emma Goldman in 1915 and became friends with the famous anarchist through whom she also met Alexander Berkman, .
Puny human says:
keep going
The internet says:
I was in my bedroom one day, having just discovered the satisfaction of masturbation, with my fingers in my c***.
Puny human says:
don’t tell me that
The internet says:
I don’t even think that the Twat was aware of the change of time although he did have the audacity to tell me that it was now proper time.
Puny human says:
Who is the Twat?
The internet says:
He is the only person outside of my husband who knows me even a little .
Puny human says:
Oh, I’m sorry
The internet says:
This strange, action game plays very much like a Pac-Man clone, and stars a caricature of former Prime Minister of Japan, Kakuei Tanaka.
Puny human says:
Eh eh ehhh?
The internet says:
And with any luck, they’ll have no wardrobe budget.
Puny human says:
Good for them!
The internet says:
I do not feel like sharing 10 words with you, let alone my life .
Puny human says:
You just did.
The internet says:
Ok, just sitting in the bath , the thought occurred to me to put my .
Puny human says:
put your what where?
The internet says:
My husband was gay, and in such deep denial that he was willing to actually put my life at risk.
Puny human says:
You should seek counseling for this. I’m afraid I can’t help you.
The internet says:
If you continue to receive this error, the page may have been moved or may no longer exist.
hysterical